The overly agreeable pattern is a subtype of the overcontrol pattern identified by RO DBT.

Overly agreeable people typically experience significant negative feelings that they work hard to conceal.

Overly agreeable people are skilled at creating the feeling of closeness without actually letting people in.

You are known as someone who remembers things about people. You ask good questions and listen to the answers. You make people feel comfortable, say yes a lot, and smooth things over when things get tense. You are viewed by most who meet you as a pleasure to know.

And privately, you are exhausted. The specific, sustained effort of being the version of yourself that everyone finds so easy to be around takes a lot of energy. Though you genuinely care about people, you spend energy and time preparing for conversations and events. You may even rehearse them in your head. And in almost every interpersonal interaction, you are hyperalert for disapproval or upset, so you can smooth it over.

If that resonates, you may be what RO DBT calls overly agreeable.

Before getting to the overly agreeable subtype specifically, it helps to understand the broader category it belongs to. Most people are familiar with the idea of being undercontrolled, impulsive, emotionally reactive, and struggling to regulate feelings and behavior.........

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