Take our Generalized Anxiety Disorder Test

Find a therapist to combat fear and anxiety

There's a difference between preferring not to do something and being fearful of doing it.

Feeling uncomfortable may really be fear.

Avoidance feeds anxiety so the more you avoid, the more anxious you are likely to become.

Fear has a purpose. Though uncomfortable, fear protects you by warning you when you're in danger. But fear doesn’t necessarily check to see whether the risk is real before it screams “Danger!” It can show up when there's no reason to experience fear. And you know what? It can show up in ways you may not recognize as being fear. It can be sneaky.

Sometimes fear shows up as discomfort. "I'm not comfortable" can be true, and it can also be an excuse to avoid something. If you respond to fear by avoiding whatever caused it, you can wind up avoiding more and more. Fear starts making decisions for you and it's often not a very good decision-maker. How often do you perhaps label fear as discomfort, and avoid doing activities or interacting with people?

What Being Controlled By Fear Looks Like in Everyday Life

Many people aren't even aware that some of their decisions are fear-based. Consider these situations. Do they sound like you?

The events you don’t show up for

A friend invites you to a party. You want to go, or at least part of you does. You’ve turned down the last few invitations and your friend seems to be getting annoyed that you never show up.

The day comes and you don’t go. You thought of all kinds of reasons why staying home made sense. You feel relieved but also feel guilt and disappointment for letting your friend down, again.

The conversation you rehearse but never have

You want to introduce yourself to someone new, speak up in a meeting, or invite a friend to lunch. You practice in your head first, looking for a way that you wouldn’t feel like a loser afterward.........

© Psychology Today