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Disclosing mental health concerns is a personal choice, but can be challenging for South Asians.

Navigating relationship challenges is seldom discussed in South Asian families.

There is a fear of being discriminated for a mental health issue by a partner and their family.

This post is part 1 of a series.

Growing up, I frequently overheard whispered conversations about relationship struggles in my South Asian community. Often, the stories involved young men discovering after marriage that their wife had an undisclosed mental health condition.

Typically, families would react with shock, saying, "Had we known the girl had these issues, we never would have let that marriage happen." Rarely was their concern about what she might have been experiencing. Instead, the focus was: "The poor husband, he's such a good guy. What bad karma."

Occasionally, I would hear about a husband’s struggles—again, he would receive sympathy, but the concerns usually centered on the impact to his career rather than his mental health, i.e. being laid off or having to take time off. Meanwhile, many of the affected women quietly become the emotional breadwinners of the family, juggling work, children, and a partner who refused to seek help.

"It was only after my husband began experiencing paranoia at work and had to go to doctor that I found out they have a history of schizophrenia in the family. His family is very hush hush about it, obviously; it's not something people share. Still, I wish I had known that this was a possibility." —Rani, 35

"It was only after my husband began experiencing paranoia at work........

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