Why Relationships Matter

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Disagreements don't mean your relationship is in trouble.

Relational resilience can help us, and our relationship, bounce back after conflict.

Address the root of the conflict rather than the disagreement itself.

In an episode of his podcast, Travis Kelce stated that he and his wife Taylor Swift have never had a fight. George Clooney has made the same claim about him and his wife, Amal. Is this a level of perfect coupledom that we should all be striving for? And if we do happen to argue with our partner, does that mean our relationship is doomed?

The answer is no. There may be couples who never fight, friends who always get along, and families that live in perfect harmony, but they are the exception, not the rule. Conflict is a natural byproduct of interacting with other humans. If handled well, it can make our connections even stronger.

Why conflict is normal

Conflict is inevitable in human relationships. Whenever two people bring their own needs, histories, and perspectives to a shared space, some friction is bound to occur. Even if both people are heavily invested in the relationship and they already have a strong, loving connection, disagreements and arguments will happen. Research backs this up. In a 2012 study, 60 couples with high relationship satisfaction (averaging over 6 on a 7-point scale) reported an average of 2.32 negative incidents or conflicts over a week. Some reported as many as nine (Schumann, 2012). Even “happy” couples argue regularly.

Arguing isn’t a sign........

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