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Why We Should Talk to Our Family Elders

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24.08.2026

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One of the books I have written is called The Spoon from Minkowitz, about the tiny village my grandmother came from in what is today Ukraine. Growing up, I repeatedly asked my grandmother for details about her life, but, like many immigrants, she didn’t want to talk about what she left behind. Over many years, I extracted six facts from her, like what the floor of her house was made of, that she dried tobacco leaves with the women when she was 10, that she wasn’t allowed to go to school, and that she admired the girls who got educated and wore uniforms.

When I finally went to the village, I wept from the moment I arrived until the time I left. I found the six clues, thanks to the mayor who helped me. I felt connected to those who came before me as I walked the dirt road they walked on, breathed the air they breathed, ate some of the foods they once ate. I became convinced that to really know who we are and to feel whole, we have........

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