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Patterns that may feel like caring for the parent can put pressure on the adult child.

The parents who stay closest to their adult children are not the ones who care less.

Parents who stay closest to their adult children are those who learn to care in a quieter, nonintrusive way.

Over the past several years, I have seen a steady increase in parents reaching out to me, confused and hurt by their relationships with their adult children. These are not neglectful parents. Typically, they are thoughtful, caring, and emotionally invested in their adult children's lives. It is heartbreaking when I hear things like, "He barely calls or texts anymore," or "She gets so defensive as soon as I say anything," or "We used to be so close, but now everything is just so damn tense."

In all these cases, the distance is not caused by a lack of love. Rather, it........

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