Random banter is an essential part of keeping male friendships alive.

A regular place to show up and be seen supports lasting bonds.

Joking around and busting each others chops helps men bond.

Podcasts are one of my favorite things to be on (and listen to). The reason is simple.

Before hitting record, you usually have what appears to be random banter with the hosts. For me, this is the best part of the show. In some cases, it's even better than the actual show.

It also sets the tone for how the show will go. On the close to 300 podcasts I have done (~270 of which as a host), the “before-we-hit-record” part makes or breaks the show.

This is top of mind for me because I’m going on podcasts to promote my book, The Male Friendship Experience, and it got me thinking about something that I feel is the hallmark of male friendships—those moments in between.

The Seemingly Random Moments of Nothingness

The reason the "before-we-hit-record” moments are so magical is that there is no performance going on. You are literally trying to get a sense of who the guest is and see if you might connect. It’s like watching an episode of Seinfeld. Things are going on, but it seems to be a show about nothing, and that’s what the in-between moments are all about.

Don’t get me wrong. A podcast episode can capture that. Most podcasts that entertain and educate can capture those in-between moments before you hit record, but some of them build their whole show around it. This is........

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