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As a society, we changed gender roles faster than we prepared millennial men for what it required of them.

Modern marriage demands invisible skills like sharing the mental load and supporting both partners' ambitions.

Many millennial men aren't resisting equality—they're navigating roles they were never taught to perform.

Recognizing this societal gap is the first step toward closing the millennial marriage gap.

Maybe it’s the social media algorithm pushing content my way, or the fact that what I see in my therapy room as a couples and relationship therapist is a biased sample, since I only work with clients struggling in their relationships. But I have been noticing a theme emerge, both in my clinical work with millennial women and couples, and in what I’m hearing from millennial women online, that is making me wonder if we millennial women can really “have it all” like we were told we could, or did we, as a society, miss a fundamental part of this cultural shift— preparing millennial men for what it would require of them!

Millennials Are Doing Marriages Differently

Research clearly shows that millennials are marrying differently from the generations before. Millennials are marrying later, are more selective about marriage, and are contributing to a decline in overall divorce rates in the U.S. (Parker & Stepler, 2020; Cohen, 2019). They also ask more of marriage than any other generation before them. They expect emotional intimacy, friendship, equality, shared parenting, and mutual support for both partners’ ambitions. In many ways, the bar for what constitutes a successful marriage has never been higher.

However, as millennial couples enter midlife, become parents, and take on bigger roles in their careers, I am seeing increasing tension around gender roles in their marriages. Many millennial women are sharing that they increasingly feel a sense of hopelessness about their husbands meeting their........

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