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Struggles in relationships may stem from complexes, such as the mother complex, and not just attachment style.

Complexes are patterns based on past experiences that shape love, reactions, and expectations.

The positive and negative mother complex affects autonomy, dependence, and trust.

It’s often said—and widely accepted among clinicians—that much of the healing in psychotherapy comes from the therapeutic relationship between therapist and patient. Because of this, many therapists identify as “relational.” While relational concepts are popular now, many people’s understanding of what that means is primarily limited to attachment theory, including the practice of attachment-oriented psychotherapies such as attachment-based psychotherapy. Though valuable, relationship issues and relationality are influenced by many factors that may not be captured by attachment theory or a person’s attachment style alone.

We each bring distinct relational patterns and styles that shape how we respond in relationships—patterns that are often subtle, complex, and unconscious, which helps explain why such difficulties are common. Psychoanalysts use the term the “relational unconscious” to describe the hidden emotional patterns and expectations that shape how we experience relationships. Within the relational unconscious are unconscious relationship patterns that shape our behavior and who we love.

One of the most helpful ways to understand these patterns is through Carl Jung’s complex theory. Complexes are emotionally charged clusters of lived experiences, linked to Jungian archetypes, that influence how we feel and react, and that are mainly outside of our awareness.

Complex theory offers a more nuanced, individualized, and less pathological way of understanding relational patterns without confining or labeling individuals to categories that oversimplify their relational lives and patterns or inadvertently reinforcing them. I will begin by exploring complexes and specifically focus on the mother complex.

Some mother/father/attachment issues that come up in psychotherapy, that often get called “attachment problems,” can actually be better described as complexes—specifically, a mother complex, father complex, or attachment........

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