What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences?

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Schema therapy teaches us that every child has five core emotional needs.

When these needs are unmet for us, we develop painful mental schemas.

Schemas can profoundly affect our mental health, relationships and other aspects of our life.

But we can learn to get our needs met in adulthood, with the right help, support, and guidance.

As a trauma therapist, I combine a number of powerful, trauma-informed models into my approach, including schema therapy. And a key concept in schema therapy is that of “core emotional needs.” Dr Jeffrey Young, the founder of schema therapy, writes that all children have five core emotional needs to flourish and grow optimally—these needs apply in every culture and period of human history.

Dr Young describes these needs as:

1. Secure attachments to others (includes safety, stability, nurturance, and acceptance)

2. Autonomy, competence, and sense of identity

3. Freedom to express valid needs and emotions

4. Spontaneity and play

5. Realistic limits and self-control1

The first need essentially means feeling safe, nurtured, and accepted by your caregivers. This is by far the most important need and was unmet if you experienced childhood trauma or neglect, because it meant a lack of safety and being rejected, hurt, and unprotected by those who were supposed to keep you safe, which is why it can affect you so deeply. If you........

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