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“I’m sorry you feel this way” shifts the problem from what the speaker did to how the listener feels.

If you did nothing wrong, honest disagreement is more respectful than a counterfeit apology.

If you caused the harm, name what you did rather than apologizing for the other person’s feelings.

"I am sorry you feel this way." We have all heard the sentence, and felt the sting of it.

We are all psychologically aware enough to know that feelings can reflect very little of what actually happens. Our feelings are our feelings, and we can feel them independent of the world around us. The fact that someone else feels angry doesn't mean I did wrong; feelings are not proof of anything or objective evidence.

When a 6-foot-5, 240-pound heavyweight professional boxer suffers from spider phobia in a country where there are no venomous spiders and the largest ones are smaller than a quarter, his fear doesn't make spiders dangerous. "I am sorry you feel this way" plays on the same psychological script: It is your problem that you feel how you feel. However, this statement masquerades as an apology.

Read the grammar slowly: In a real apology, the speaker is the subject and the act is the........

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