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The Pros and Cons of the 'Stack Dating' Trend

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The Science of Mating

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Stack dating' means squeezing or stacking multiple dates into a given day, sometimes back-to-back.

It can be a way to manage dating if you are very busy or just want to see as many people as possible.

It can take pressure off each date, allow you to compare different dates, and offer you dating practice.

On the other hand, it can be hard work, blur choices, and remove spontaneity and serendipity.

Want to go out on a date? Okay, how about Wednesday between 2:18 pm and 3:17 pm? Oh, and something just opened up on Thursday from 10:32 am to 11:15 am.

Welcome to "stack dating," which you may have heard about on social media or encountered in the dating world. It's when you try to squeeze or stack multiple dates into a given day, sometimes back-to-back. Rather than one date on a Friday night, you pack in three, four, seven, or even 10 different dates, depending on how early you start, how late you go, and what you might have in between. It's one way for daters to cope with this go-go-go world. The big question, though, is whether such an approach will stack the odds for or against your finding that special peanut butter for your jelly, that right Chip for your Dale, basically the right match for you?

How Stack Dating Could Help Your Dating

Some busy professionals may argue that stacking is the only way that they can go on enough dates. After all, if you've got only seven days a week, 24 hours a day, and a good chunk of each day is already spent sleeping, working, going to the bathroom, scrolling through social media, getting advice from AI, farting, and other stuff, how much time is left to date? That leaves dating time scarce and to be rationed and apportioned appropriately.

And at the same time, people may argue that dating is simply a numbers game—that if you see enough candidates, you'll stumble upon the right mutual fit for you. It's like a trip to Costco, chances are you'll stumble upon something that you'll want to buy—like that 72-pound wheel of Parmigiano Reggiano. Stacking does go a-packing the numbers into whatever little time you have for dating. The philosophy: Why see one person on a Friday night when you can see three?

Another argument for stacking is that it can give you a better perspective, allowing you to compare and contrast different people back-to-back, side-to-side, or whatever position your dates are assuming that day. It's similar to companies bringing all the job candidates in on the same day, or when looking at a buffet table, it can help you more readily separate the liverwurst from the liverbest because they are right next to each other.

Then there's the argument that stacking takes the pressure off each date. In theory, if you mess up one date, there's always another, and another, and another. Believing that there are more options around may—again in theory—make you less likely to prematurely attach yourself to the wrong person.

And we're talking about practice here, too, to riff off of that famous Allen Iverson rant. More dates could mean more practice in dating. After all, dating in itself is a skill, separate from your ability to maintain relationships. Having a lot of practice in dating could help you be smoother and more skilled at it, better able to say the "right" things to get to the next date or even into bed. From experience, you may learn not to say things like "you remind me of my ex" or "this tastes much better than prison food."

Finally, stacking could—once again in theory— keep you from prematurely rejecting someone. If you have very few dating slots available in your calendar, you could end up setting an unnecessarily strict threshold as to who makes the cut. And the threshold criteria could be super unrealistic or super superficial, like the person has to already rock your world or have a certain look. Having more dating slots in your calendar could, in turn, allow you to give more people a chance.

How Stack Dating Could Hurt Your Dating

Before you go full-stack with your dating, though, consider its drawbacks. Too many dates could mean too little time for each other, limiting your ability to really get to know one another. That could mean too many snap judgments, basing too much on superficial impressions, and, yes, prematurely rejecting what would actually be a good fit.

The Science of Mating

Take our Are You a Good First Date?

Find a therapist near me

Having too many different choices in theory is not necessarily a good thing either. Having a stack of dates to plough through can leave you with decision paralysis or rejecting people simply based on, you guessed it, superficial things, just to get the stack to a manageable size. It can be similar to browsing through the 20-page Cheesecake Factory menu and then ending up choosing the same thing that you've always chosen anyway.

Speaking of doing the same thing that you've always done, stack dating can suck spontaneity and serendipity out of dating. And these two "Ss" may be what's needed to slide you out of your dating rut. But when you have 12 more dates on your docket, you can't just see where one of those dates might take you.

Yeah, stack dating can feel a lot more like work than fun, which is ironic when you are using stack dating to accommodate your work schedule. It can be freaking tiring to go from date to date to date and more difficult to keep track of who's who. Which one was Chad, and which one was Brad? And what about Allison versus Alison, Allyson, Allisson, Alysson, and Ali's son? Each date can seem like a commodity that you've got to manage. And maybe that's not what either you or your dates want.

Is Date Stacking Right for You?

Ultimately, when choosing a dating approach, you've got to do you—do what comes naturally. That can allow you to be most yourself and attract those who resonate with you and your approach, and repel those who don't. Stack dating may be right for you if you really do not have enough free time, don't quite know what you want yet, are organized, punctual, and regimented enough to make it work, and are fine with treating dating that way. It may not work so well if you want more flexibility and serendipity, prefer to focus on one person at a time, and don't need to go through lots of candidates to learn what you want. Last but not least, if you are going to do the date stacking thing yourself, you'd better be okay with someone doing that to you and not blow your stack in the process.

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