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Being loved is what your partner does. Feeling loved is how much you let it in.

The amount of love you can feel is capped by the amount you love yourself.

If you're partner loves you more than you love yourself - you won't believe them.

It's on you to learn to love yourself more. Start with your shadow and flowers.

Co-authored with Galit Romanelli

Matthew and Hannah sit down in my clinic after two weeks away.

"The truth is, the last two weeks were good," Hannah opens. "We talked more. We even had a good intimate encounter."

"Really? I don't believe you," Matthew says.

"Yes. Really," she tries.

"But you're not really on my side." Quiet. A little embarrassed.

Hannah starts listing everything she did over those two weeks. Every time she didn't get angry. Every way she showed up. Matthew acknowledges all of it. And still it doesn't land.

"You say it's good," he says, "but you don't celebrate me."

"Matthew, do you see how much Hannah loves you?" I ask.

I can see it. Something in him is blocking the love coming in. Hannah is exhausted from proving it again and again. She is frustrated by his inability to believe her.

Then I ask him the question.

"Matthew, how much do you love yourself, from one to ten? And you can't say five."

He thinks for a few moments.

"Matthew, are you worthy of love?"

He's surprised by my question.

"Did anyone ever love you like Hannah's been loving you........

© Psychology Today