Women are raised to believe that they are the more compassionate and caring sex. They are told from girlhood that their inborn nature is to be friendly, kind, generous, and hospitable, putting others first and always with a smile. If that is true, it stands to reason that friendships among women should be easy to maintain. However, many women report dissatisfaction in their female friendships.

Feminists have always emphasized the importance of same-sex friendships for women, citing research that demonstrates the positive impact of these relationships on women’s mental, emotional, and even physical well-being (Felmlee, Sweet, & Sinclair, 2012). At the same time, they criticize the cultural and systemic norms that make these friendships difficult to maintain. Understanding these norms is critical, as they profoundly impact women’s friendships.

Women are socialized to prioritize harmony and caretaking in their relationships. In its healthiest form, this can lead to friendships that are intimate, reciprocal, and supportive, with each woman in the friend group attending to the needs of the others (Baumgarte & Nelson, 2009; Fehr, 2004; Fox et al, 1985). In its unhealthiest form, the mandate for women to be self-sacrificing in their friendships makes it difficult for them to set boundaries, express negative feelings, or confront conflict. As a result, resentment and........

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