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The 1% Summer: Our Wealthologist on Where to Sun, Swim and Eat $100 Lobster Salad

Looking for a third wife—or just a place to park your yacht? Here's the Observer's summer survival guide.

(Editor’s note: Originally published in June 2015, this Kirshenbaum classic captures a particular Hamptons summer in all its excess. Some venues and prices have changed since publication.)

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It was a difficult winter for tous New York: even the 1-percenters who spend fewer than the allotted 183 days in the city. Summer is here and while for many that means BBQs and cut-off shorts, for the uptown elite, the joy of breaking out the new Hermès cherche-midi and those must-have Louboutin Cataclous is spine tingling.

It looks like a sizzling season is in store. The Upper East Side has been the subject of keen interest recently, from Wednesday Martin’s “wife bonuses” to Bravo’s Odd Mom Out, starring its creator, socialite and author Jill Kargman. Wherever one turns, it seems the words Park and Fifth are on everyone’s lips. Just recently, a diamond-studded fuchsia Birkin bag sold at the Hong Kong Christie’s for more than $221,000. Who says the luxury sector is slumping?

With Europe on sale for as much as 25 percent off, hardly a room is available in the five-star resorts from The Grand Hotel Quisisana to the Grand Hotel du Cap Ferrat. Something tells me that with the current exchange rates, cultural sites will take a back seat to the Via Condotti, where well-heeled hordes will be snapping up those ubiquitous cashmere sweaters from Loro Piana and Brunello Cucinelli. Expect lines at the Holy Grail of Luxury, the Chanel Maison sur Avenue General LeClerc in St. Tropez, for the famed quilted bags all the ladies of Park treasure so much. New Yorkers are already instructing the housekeepers to pack empty satchels for all the anticipated loot.

Whether you plan on being in Wainscott or in the front row at Wimbledon, taking the Excel or coptering out East, my first-ever Best of Summer awards are meant to help you navigate summer 2015. For the 1 percent, there is no such thing as the dog days of summer—especially when you’re traveling private with your Havanese.

Best room with a view

The outdoor tables at St. Ambroeus on Lafayette Street provide a chic afternoon respite frequented by auteurs and analysts alike. Order a Côtés de Provence, lounge in the dappled sunlight and watch the jeune filles saunter. Some wager that this is the best people-watching in NYC; the display of skin, the array of skimpy outfits and the strutting has nothing on the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, all for the price of an Insalata Tricolori.

Best place to meet your third husband

Thursday nights at Bilboquet. His black hair may be going gray but that doesn’t matter when you’re on the hunt for a man with a Black Card. That being said, there is a good chance that great catch at the bar is already “caught.” (Did anyone say wedding ring in the pocket?) Downside: You may run into your teenagers while you are flirting. Don’t forget the Hunt and Fish Club if you’re interested in an investment banker sugar daddy or a younger protégé feasting on Japanese Wagyu.

At the Sagg Store, Check bad manners and your rhinestone-collared teacup poodle at the door.They won’t go over well.

Best place to find a mistress when the wife moves out to the beach

Head for Beautique, whose name says it all: a boutique for saucy cougars, Eastern European “hand” models and divorced reality stars in search of a new story line. Or there’s Cipriani Soho for........

© Observer