Where was I when God was humming, “Let it snow, let it snow”?

Suddenly, everyone I know schlepped to Florida. The state now has more New Yorkers than alligators. Their mouths, however, remain the same width.

One lady, so rich her body parts grow mink hairs, had to fly commercial. Her behind alone was a carry-on. And that didn’t include a tennis racket, golf clubs, tanning oil or young guy to chauffeur her once she got him driving lessons.

The stewardess was hurrying. Her date night was with the pilot in Orlando. Then came a kerfuffle. Two passengers had the same seat, so they’d given my friend a few dollars to get off. Please! She spends more than that on lubrication. They offered her a Bahama Mama, which is vodka, peach liqueur, orange juice, schnapps, pineapple juice, raspberry something and cranberry something else.........

© New York Post