It’s weeks before Christmas and all through the house — no gifts have arrived. Not even a blouse!

To get into the Christmas spirit, I spoke with R. David Robinson. The R is for Robert. A onetime waiter, he quick learned he could make lots more bread by being an entertainer, and so he became a Santa who does private events and even works Carnegie Hall. Here’s his Santa-izing:

“I speak with a lower register. I ask them to tell me in my ear what they want. Kids today want electronics, a guitar, cell phone. They’re into technology. They ask for some things I don’t even understand. I mean, what’s a 4-year-old know? They talk of things I don’t even understand.

“If I need the john I go before — then after — never during.........

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