“You were there in person, Lobo Lobo? Kolkata or Mumbai?”

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Lobo Lobo, my cable guy, was in a blue funk dressed in a blue and white striped Argentinian jersey. 

Hello, Lobo Lobo, aka Raymnd DaCosta, let me guess why you’re so upset? Is it because of the Lionel Messi messy fiasco?”

“Bossie Dikuna men, ‘upset’ is an understatement, and messy fiasco is even more of a wrong word… it was a cringe experience, de worst men! Ufffff can’t say only how much bad it was!”

“You were there in person, Lobo Lobo? Kolkata or Mumbai?”

“I went to both, men! See, Messi is my hero — we made a plan, all my mates and me, dat is my Glaxose football team of 1981, dere was my legendary LGBT forward line-up. LGBT, meaning not Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Trans, but LGBT, that’s me Lobo, Gogol from de Orissa, Banerjee from Tollygunge and Thambi de Tamil Nadu. LGBT we were… and dere was our goalkeeper from dat team, Taqdeer Aslam, 7-feet-2-inch Pathan from Bhendi Bazaar. Now, he caters biryani and Pahadi kebabs. We........

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