Two couples I know, both in their forties, are splitting up. The decisions were made in early, gloomy January. They have kids and are feeling guilt, anger, sorrow, regret, loss of trust, loss of confidence and self-loathing. In both cases, one partner decided it was over, leaving the other in shreds.

I have been there too. Thirty-seven years ago this month, 10 days before our son’s 10th birthday, my first husband left us and moved in with a younger woman he’d secretly been having an affair with. We’d been married for 17 years. Our tears and entreaties couldn’t stop him.

The shock and pain were indescribable. Luckily, a lovely Englishman came along and we remade our lives. That was in 1990. But I still remember the grey day our lives were shattered.

Last night, I finished reading the newly published Strangers: A Memoir of a Marriage by Belle Burden, and cried because it swept me back to 20 January 1987. The woman, a rich New Yorker and mum of four, discovered her husband James was having an affair. He left, coldly and forever. Her many questions have never been........

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