I feel great. I’m so sorry. I feel terrible about it. Because I’m on enough WhatsApp groups and I scroll enough social media platforms to know that I should be crawling towards Christmas on bloodied knees.

The latest Thing for people to have is burn-out and I appear to be the last person in the Western world not suffering from it. I can only apologise and promise that I will try to do better – or is it worse? – in the last few days left of the festive season.

Anyone who’s anyone is burned out. You’re no-one if you’re not. Whatever circles you move in, if you are not draining your last reserves of everything – time, energy, patience, your talents for crafting/baking/conjuring perfect handmade gifts out of nothing – by this stage of the year you are not doing Life right.

If you are still bright-eyed, well-rested and standing, it is proof positive that you are not in demand enough and, by implication, not important enough or gifted enough or self-sacrificing enough to be ruined by existence. And don’t forget, for women, the steady drumbeat of not being fertile enough or a good enough mother too.

This is, clearly, bonkers. What is going on?

Burn-out culture is a........

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