When a date doesn’t go well, men will often accuse women of adopting an “HR voice” — the polite, corporate way some women will text when they are done with dating you.

Suddenly, a flirtatious text thread starts sounding like a meeting with human resources.

I swear girls turn into the HR lady once they're done with you. 😂 pic.twitter.com/14GzS0CX9X

And although men go to social media to joke and complain about this formal shift, the women who do or encourage this say it’s the kinder response.

“I’m the queen of a polite termination text,” said Emily Durham, a Toronto-based career coach and former recruiter who uses HR-speak when rejecting men she’s gone on a few dates with. “In times of stress, I default to speaking like I’m someone’s human resources manager, and that’s just how I am.“

What she does might sound similar to anyone who’s had to hear hard news during a performance review.

“I’ll use the sandwich method, which is [to] thank them for their time, compliment a character trait that I genuinely enjoy about them. Tell them it doesn’t feel like the right connection for me right now,” she recalled. “If it feels warranted to deliver feedback, for example, like because ... we work opposite hours or something like that, feel free to pop it in. ... And then like, ‘Wishing you all the best.’”

Why ‘HR voice’ can actually be a kinder, safer way to reject someone you’ve dated.

"Hope you find what you're looking for" may sound copy-pasted but it's also an appropriate way to end an early connection.

Durham defends the “HR voice” for women and anyone who is queer or trans who are more likely to experience violence while dating. “In the beginning of dating, you use this HR-speak to mitigate risk. You don’t........

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