As a man am I missing out?

Because our wives were friends with Dan’s wife, all of us men sitting around the table in the pub knew that his wife had just left him only three days earlier.

But as Dan, late as always, sat down, pint in hand, to join us for the evening, though he knew that we knew and we knew that he knew we knew, not a single word was said on the matter. Instead, across the next three hours we talked about music, politics, football, TV series we were particularly enjoying and ones we were hate watching simply for our own amusement.

But of the demise of his twenty-year marriage and the inner emotional turmoil it was wreaking on his psyche, not a single syllable was uttered.

Welcome to the world of male friendships.

Contrast this then with a recent occurrence amongst my wife’s group of friends when, while out for coffee, one of their number, Sarah, announced that she’d just split up with her partner of ten years. Instantly, tears were shed, hugs exchanged and the events leading up to and following the break up were discussed in forensic detail.

Then for weeks after the revelation, flowers, cards and texts offering a listening ear were sent. Roughly the same situation, but the response........

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