It’s natural for parents to want to be close to their kids, both emotionally and physically. But there’s an increasingly popular term to describe when that closeness crosses into something more limiting: “velcro parenting” – and, by extension, a “velcro child”.

“Velcro parenting occurs when parents stay constantly physically and emotionally close to their children,” clinical psychologist and Pod Candy podcast host John Mayer told HuffPost. “Thus the parents often step in and intervene ‘for’ their children, even before their children experience their own needs.”

This parent-child dynamic typically comes from a place of love, but it’s ultimately less about attentiveness and nurturing and more about anxious hyper-involvement that stifles independence.

“A velcro child is one who clings emotionally, mentally and physically to their parent for reassurance, direction or comfort,” said clinical psychologist and author Jenny Yip. “The over-attachment interferes with a child’s ability to build confidence, frustration tolerance, independent problem-solving skills and resilience.”

Importantly, child development specialists stress that secure attachment and velcro parenting are not the same thing. Secure attachment helps children feel safe enough to explore the world independently, whereas velcro parenting keeps that tether so tight that exploration feels impossible without a parent right beside them.

So how can you tell the difference between a child who simply wants closeness and one who may be struggling with over-attachment? Below, experts break down the most common signs you may have a “velcro child” and what to know if you recognise this dynamic in your family.

1. They struggle to be away from you, even briefly

“A velcro child will most likely be extremely clingy and lack any independence,” said author and The Parenting Mentor founder Susan Groner. “Behaviours and patterns may include not being able to play alone or be left alone for even short periods of time and extreme difficulty separating from their parent or caregiver.”

Some degree of clinginess is completely normal in babies and toddlers.

“You could say all infants are born as ‘velcro babies,’ as they absolutely do need to be with a caregiver almost every waking hour and maybe even some sleeping time, as well, depending on the age and family norms,” said parenting coach Kristene Geering.

“But when infants become toddlers, their sense of being an independent person away from their primary attachment figure is an important developmental milestone.”

Velcro children struggle with separation and change.

As children grow, they should be able to tolerate short separations, whether at school or play dates.

“If a child over the age of 2 seems to be incapable of........

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