A couple on a date

You might have heard of “gaslighting,” a method of manipulation in which someone is led to question their own sanity or memories.

But another dating term – “floodlighting” – refers to what seems, at first, to be the exact opposite.

Rather than hiding actions or beliefs behind your back over a long period of time and pretending not to have done so, “floodlighters” jump into brand-new relationships fully exposed, trauma, insecurities, and all.

Nonetheless, the tactic can be unhealthy, licensed therapist Jourdan Travers shared on TikTok.

“Floodlighting” presents as vulnerability, but it can be far from it

Floodlighters might “trauma-dump,” or share a lot of deeply personal information, way too early into the relationship.

That might feel like openness and vulnerability, which should elicit a sense of closeness, but when it’s used to “floodlight,” oversharing simply makes the person on the receiving end uncomfortable.

That’s partly because, Travers says, it has nothing to do with true intimacy.

“You might think, ’This just sounds like some harmless sympathy-seeking – weird, but nothing Earth-shattering,” the therapist shares.

“But it’s deeper than that.”

She pointed to a 2022 paper that showed that oversharing online is “significantly linked to anxiety, attention-seeking, and social media addiction.”

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