Forget geography, these are the things I should’ve been taught 50 years ago

June 20, 2026 — 3:30am

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Why have I left it so late to learn many of life’s most basic principles? Couldn’t one of those interminable geography lessons at school have been skipped for just one week? That way, my teachers could have conveyed the information that I have been denied for so many years.

Point one: plants need fertiliser to grow well. I discovered this two months ago when, on a whim, I poured a mixture of concentrated seaweed and water onto a few pot plants and was rewarded with spectacular, almost instant, growth. Flowers bloomed. Choirs sang. Why was I never told? I always thought I was hopeless with plants.

In retrospect, I should have noticed the many shelves of fertilisers on sale at Hardware Hell and wondered why they filled up half the store. Maybe I was too focused on the sausage sizzle. Still, lesson learnt. Rather late.

Also: for at least 50 years I’ve been heating the oven until it reaches 180 degrees before throwing in the jacket potatoes. Completely unnecessary, I have recently learnt.

Plenty of food items can be placed in a cold oven and they will start heating as the oven starts heating, with no impact on the outcome and a........

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