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What to say to relatives who love to needle you about politics

If you’re about 30 seconds away from completely losing your cool with a family member, read this.

As someone who has predominantly lived in liberal cities, I am largely surrounded by people who share my political views. Guns, no way. LGBTQ rights, yes, of course. Abortion, absolutely. Immigration, come on in.

But I also have relatives, most of whom I love and am deeply attached to, in red states, which means I’m regularly exposed to people across the political spectrum. There are liberals, moderates, conservatives, and a few MAGA individuals in my bloodline. And while I’d like to believe I’m a level-headed, logical human being who gets along with everyone, there’ve been times where I’ve completely lost my cool and snapped at them. Like when one sent an offensive meme about ICE. Or when another laughed at President Donald Trump rudely calling a journalist “piggy.”

When such events occur, my blood pressure spikes. I spit out a string of facts in some sort of ballistic effort to prove they’re wrong, and when we inevitably don’t see eye to eye, I storm out of the room. I’m well aware this isn’t productive, but I also don’t know how to effectively deal with people who needle me about Trump.

To get some tips, I called up two pros on conflict and relationship dynamics and asked them how someone in my position can best cope in these situations. My mind was blown by how realistic and practical their advice was, and for the first time since January 20, 2025, I felt legitimately hopeful I could navigate these moments without winding up hurt and angry. If this is something you also struggle with, take a look at their recommendations below; maybe you’ll feel the same.

Take a beat — and a breath

When I hear a sly comment about, say, the state of reproductive health care in the United States, I don’t merely disagree. Rather, I feel like my personal rights as a woman are being attacked — or, in the case of gender-affirming care or immigration, the rights........

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