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Why Your Dates Feel So Awkward (And How to Fix It)

A therapist explains two very different approaches to conversation and why they can lead to misunderstandings in dating and relationships.

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We all have different communication styles and preferences, with some of us seeking conversations and others waiting to be included. This is especially noticeable in dating. For example, you may have been on a date with someone who offered information unprompted and dominated the conversation for most of the night. Or maybe your date only shared personal details when you asked, making you feel like an interviewer. These communication styles are known as “volunteer” and “invite-only.”

Regardless of which end of the spectrum you lean toward, there’s no right or wrong way of communicating—so long as you’re respectful, of course. Wondering about the difference between the “volunteer” and “invite-only” communication styles? Let’s dive in.

‘Volunteer’ vs. Invite-Only Communication Style

According to Sophia Spencer, a specialist in social psychology, mental health therapist, and founder of Social Mind Clinic, “The volunteer communication style is when a person voluntarily communicates personal information without needing to be asked,” says Spencer.

On the other hand, “The invite-only communication style is when a person communicates information when they are directly asked a question or prompted by someone else,” Spencer says. “Essentially,........

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