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The ‘Five-Year Stranger Theory’ Explains Why So Many Friendships Quietly Fade

A therapist says many friendships fade because of growth, changing priorities, and life transitions, not because anyone failed.

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I accidentally ruined my own day this morning after stumbling upon the “five-year stranger theory.” According to the viral concept, most of the people currently in your life—colleagues, neighbors, casual friends, that hookup buddy who won’t commit to you—will turn into strangers within just five years. Of course, this doesn’t include family and close friends, but the idea that our casual social circle might one day vanish is a bit…well, depressing. 

However, after taking some time to reflect, I realized this theory is as comforting as it is saddening. For years, I’ve wondered whether something was wrong with me for outgrowing certain friendships or no longer resonating with certain groups. But this shift is a completely normal part of getting older—and the main premise of the five-year stranger theory. 

What Is the Five-Year Stranger Theory?

According to Amanda Burback, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Mellow Therapy in Los Angeles, “The........

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