Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

6 Things Men Should Do Differently This Summer If They Actually Want a Relationship

From attachment styles to rigid checklists, experts say the biggest dating problems often start before the first date even happens.

Share on X (Opens in new window)X

Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook

Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard

Summer has a way of making people feel like they should be doing something about their love lives. The longer days, the social calendars, the general pressure to have something going on—it’s a lot. If you’re a guy who actually wants a relationship and not just a situationship that dissolves by Labor Day, the advice making the rounds this year looks a little different than what you’ve probably heard before.

Here’s what the research—and the people who spend their careers on this—actually says about why your approach probably needs an overhaul.

1. Know your attachment style before you’re in it

This one doesn’t show up on most lists, but the research makes a strong argument for leading with it. A study published in Personal Relationships found that singles who lacked clarity about what they wanted in a relationship reported feeling lonelier over time and had lower life satisfaction than those who didn’t. Knowing whether you pull away when things get close, crave constant reassurance,........

© Vice