Public speaking expert shares the 3 'magic' phrases that instantly make you more likable
When we think of someone likable, we often imagine a person with a big personality who's the life of the party. We conjure up images of social butterflies and people who keep everyone at the dinner party glued to their every word when they tell a story. The funny thing is, according to research, that's not really the case.
Studies show that the easiest way to make someone like you is to show interest by asking questions during the conversation and making it clear that you like them. People also really love those who come off as genuine.
Michael Gendler, a co-founder of Ultraspeaking, a platform that helps people master the art of public speaking, recently shared three "magic" phrases that make you more likable, all of which align with what science tells us.
This phrase resonates with people because it shows you're genuine by admitting your vulnerability. "Man, talk about your feats, real fears, not like 'Oh, I'm scared I'm going to be too successful.' Tell us about something that actually scares you. Don't be guarded. Be open, and other people will appreciate that," Gendler says.
This phrase makes people like you because it counters a psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias, which suggests we tend to overestimate how clearly we express our feelings to others. This means that, many times, when we think others know we like them, they may not be so sure. So a little assurance goes a long way toward showing them the feeling is mutual. "People love being complimented as long as it is genuine," Gendler says.
As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Make Friends and Influence People, the key to interacting with others is focusing on being interested in them rather than trying to impress them by being interesting. "Be interested, not interesting," Carnegie writes.
A Harvard study supports this, showing that when you first start speaking with someone, you should follow your first question with two more. People who do this are rated as much more likable than those who, after one question, shift the conversation to themselves. "People love feeling like what they're saying is interesting. So invite them to speak more," Gendler continues.
Ultraspeaking's post is a breath of fresh air for those who aren't comfortable trying to impress others at parties, on dates, or in the office. The video shows that if you make people feel important, they're much more likely to like you in return. The key is that it has to come from the heart.
"Remember, don't just use these phrases and expect them to work," Gendler says. "They have to be genuine and open. That's what makes people likable."
"What's for dinner?" has been asked by kids for millennia, probably, and the most common answers depend on both where and at what time in history it was asked. In ancient times, people were limited to what they could hunt or gather. Medieval recipes look different than what people ate in the 19th century. And what our grandparents ate when they were children was different from what our kids eat today.
Obviously, people couldn't DoorDash Chipotle in the '70s, but when someone on Reddit asked people born before 1970 what they ate for dinner most weeks, there were some standard meals a lot of Americans clearly ate regularly growing up. Lots of meatloaf and beef stroganoff. Pork chops and chop suey. Convenient assistance from Shake n' Bake, Hamburger Helper and TV dinners. Canned fruits and veggies. So much Jell-O.
Here are some of the most popular responses:
"Overcooked pork chop, minute rice, canned green beans, canned fruit cocktail
Spaghetti with ground beef and sauce made from a packet (Durkee?)
Pot roast (whatever cut of meat was on sale) cooked with Lipton onion soup mix. Frozen peas. Canned peaches.
Meatloaf with mashed potatoes and canned green beans. Canned pears
Shake n bake chicken and scalloped potatoes from a box. Canned fruit of some kind.
On awesome days Chef Boyardee pizza mix from a box.
I liked LaChoy chop suey.
Always with a jug of milk on the table."
Meatloaf was a staple dinner.Photo credit: Canva
"So I think many of our moms went to the same home ec classes. Our house also had on rotation:
Goulash: It wasn’t what I have come to understand is Hungarian Goulash, but ground beef/spices/tomatoes.
Chicken Diane: Way overcooked chicken with rosemary, thyme and other seasonings.
Meatloaf: Yes, ketchup on top.
And the ever-present rice. Dad bought an aluminum rice cooker from his time in Japan and we had rice (he added soy sauce on top) 3x per week. The other side was baked potatoes.
The big treat!!!??? Chef Boy Ar Dee pizza from a tube on Friday once per month. Mom had a round aluminum baking pan and make dough, spread the included sauce on the dough, add the Parmesan Cheese (in the included packet). That was the biggest treat - and in all honesty I would go back to that day cause I miss my mom. Best pizza ever."
- YouTube www.youtube.com
"Hamburger patty or braised round steak, green salad, canned vegetable (peas, beans, corn, beets). Occasionally a baked potato. Sometimes my mom would toss chicken in a flour/seasoning mix and bake it and we'd have oven fried chicken--maybe once every couple of weeks. We got beef from a cousin so it was cheap, and chicken was expensive.
Mom also made spaghetti with ground beef, and beef stew with the tougher cuts of the cow. Oh--and liver--God how I hated liver night.
We always had cheap grocery store 'ice milk' in the freezer for dessert."
Spaghetti is still a classic.Photo credit: Canva
"Sunday - Spaghetti/macaroni and homemade spaghetti sauce and a salad.
Monday - Roast chicken, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.
Tuesday - Pork chops, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.
Wednesday - Spaghetti/macaroni and homemade spaghetti sauce and a salad.
Thursday - Rump or sirloin steak, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.
Friday - breaded and fried fish (ugh--haddock, halibut, or cod if the latter was on sale), a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.
Saturday - Rump or sirloin steak, a side (potatoes, Rice-a-Roni), and a veg.
Dessert would be supermarket ice cream (carton, usually Neopolitan), Jello chocolate pudding, Table Talk pie (usually apple)."
Why were pork chops so popular?Photo credit:........© Upworthy
