menu_open Columnists
We use cookies to provide some features and experiences in QOSHE

More information  .  Close

‘To see within’: How the Icelandic concept ‘InnSæi’ can help you make better decisions

2 0
02.03.2026

Have you ever been in a meeting where something appeared…off, but you couldn’t explain why? That subtle feeling is the Icelandic concept of intuition known as InnSæi (pronounced “in-sy-ay”).

While many of us dismiss gut feelings as “woo woo,” neuroscience is beginning to prove otherwise. Research from institutions like the Max Planck Institute for Human Development shows that our intuition is very real. Researchers report that intuition results from our unconscious mind processing information much faster than our rational brain. Your body senses subtle clues and patterns you don’t consciously notice, communicating through hunches and that feeling of “just knowing.”

In our hyperconnected world, we’ve grown distant from this inner wisdom. Notifications ping, feeds scroll endlessly, and information floods in from every direction, taking us far away from InnSæi.

To do so, it’s worth asking: what if you could reconnect with this lost sense? What if you could tap into this hidden intelligence to make better decisions, lower stress, and handle life’s uncertainties with more confidence?

This brings us to InnSæi. Let’s explore what it means, why it’s more relevant than ever, and how you can begin cultivating it today.

The true meaning of InnSæi

The word InnSæi combines two Icelandic roots: Inn (meaning “inside” or “inward”) and ‌Sæi (to see, also evoking “sær,” meaning “sea”). This beautiful, poetic compound reflects three connected aspects of intuition.

This refers to the ongoing activity of your unconscious mind: a place of imagination, vision, and quick pattern recognition that works below conscious awareness. Neuroscientist Joel Pearson describes intuition as “the learned, productive use of unconscious information.” Your mind is constantly active, continually connecting ideas, like a steady, ever-moving current. Research shows that our brains begin processing decisions up to seven seconds before we are consciously aware of them.

Self-awareness, also known as metacognition, is like a mirror for your mind, allowing you to clearly observe your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It helps you differentiate genuine intuition from fears, biases, or wishful thinking that can obscure judgment. Studies show that developing metacognitive skills improves emotional control and boosts decision-making. By turning your focus inward, you can block out the noise and pay attention to what truly matters in your inner world.

To see from the outside

This dimension represents an inner compass, or the natural competence to steer life’s uncertainties with inspired confidence. It focuses less on strict rules and more on staying true to your authentic values and deeper intuition. This compass provides clarity, focus, and fortitude, guiding you through the most chaotic times.

Why intuition is more important than ever

We live in an era of constant information overload. Today, an average person consumes more data in a single day than someone in the 15th century did in a lifetime. Our attention has become a limited resource, continuously pulled by content algorithms, 24-hour news cycles, and endless virtual distractions.

This nonstop flow of information can drown out your intuition. It creates a disconnect from your body, your internal signals, and the indicators that could guide you toward the right path. As Icelandic author and intuition expert Hrund Gunnsteinsdóttir notes, “We’ve outsourced our inner expertise.”

Intuition embodies more than just a desirable trait; it is a key part of innovation, creativity, and effective leadership. A 2017 study found that Nobel laureates see intuition as a key factor in their revolutionary findings. Similarly, business leaders often credit their most successful decisions, especially in uncertain or urgent situations, to their gut instincts.

Intuition is like a muscle—you can strengthen it through practice.

Four ways to cultivate your InnSæi

1. Connect with your gut (5-15 minutes)

Your body holds subconscious knowledge. When something feels wrong, you might notice tension in your stomach, tightness in your chest, or a sense of unease. These bodily signals often happen before you become consciously aware of the issue.

Try this: Take a few slow, deep breaths. Put one hand on your stomach and notice its movement with each inhale and exhale. Ask yourself what you are sensing—warmth, tension, calm, or unease. Name these feelings silently or out loud. Notice any changes as you breathe and pay attention to what your body is telling you. Do this daily to make the signals more familiar.

Ask yourself simple, honest questions: How am I feeling today? Is this decision aligned with who I am right now? Notice whether your stomach feels at ease or tense.

With regular practice, your body’s internal signals grow clearer.

2. Keep a daily journal (5-15 minutes)

Stream-of-consciousness journaling is a profoundly effective way to gain mental clarity. Letting thoughts drift freely onto paper without editing or restraint creates mental space. Research shows that handwriting improves clarity and memory more than typing.

Try this: Set a timer for 5 to 15 minutes and write without stopping. Do not analyze, censor, or judge what you write—just keep the pen moving. If you hit a blank, write “I don’t know what to write” repeatedly until another thought appears. Afterward, briefly review what you wrote and make a note of any emotions or physical sensations you notice.

Over time, you’ll begin to observe patterns: recurring fears, internal critical voices that aren’t yours, or repetitive thought loops. Building this awareness helps you distinguish between true intuition and mental chatter. As you write, pay attention to your body. Observe physical reactions to your ideas.

3. Be mindful of what captures your attention

Your focus is the gateway to intuition. It shapes your inner world and your perception of reality. Yet, we rarely notice what captures our attention during the day.

Try this: Carry a small notebook throughout your day. When something captures your attention—a phrase, a color, or a strong emotion—immediately write it down, noting the time and place. Keep this up for a week.

At the end of the week, review your notebook. Select 10 words or phrases that stand out most. Write these in a vertical list on a new page. Spend two minutes simply observing the list—do not analyze. Notice if feelings, ideas, or connections come to mind. Write down any motifs or impressions that arise.

Paying close attention to your focus uncovers the underlying influences shaping you. This can function as a strong catalyst for creativity.

4. Cultivate flow (60 minutes)

Flow is the magical state where you forget about time and self, fully immersed in what you’re doing. Research shows that in states of flow, the brain decreases activity in executive control regions and increases activity in sensory areas, creating space for intuitive insights to surface.

Try this: Select a task that is meaningful but slightly challenging for you. Set a timer for 60 minutes. Remove all potential distractions (phone, notifications), and consider playing only instrumental music. Focus on the task without stopping to judge or edit. Afterward, take three minutes to note how you felt and any thoughts that came to you during the session.

Gunnsteinsdóttir used this technique when developing a strategy for her work on InnSæi. She downloaded a template, set a timer, and let her vision flow onto the page. “I didn’t stop to think about what I was writing; I simply allowed what emerged to flow,” she explains. After 60 minutes, she read what she had written and made only minor tweaks.

After your flow session, reflect in your journal: Did you lose sense of time? What would you do differently next time? Did this state help you access your inner compass?

Charting your way forward

In tough times, a strong InnSæi is vital. Trusted intuition anchors you and yields richer guidance.

Begin with one small new practice: spend five minutes on intentional breathing each morning, or write a journal entry at night thinking about how your body felt that day. Keep a notebook for tracking observations that catch your attention. Schedule one 60-minute flow session each week. Track your progress in your journal and review it weekly to notice changes or patterns.

With practice, your inner signals grow clearer. Observation becomes sharper, decisions more confident, and you handle uncertainty with ease. Your ever-present intuition is a steady guide. Will you make space to listen?

Begin now—your inner compass is prepared to guide you.

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers. “Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Torchy Swinson, a self-described great-grandmother of seven, has figured out a formula for imparting wisdom in both a heartfelt and hilarious way. In fact, her effortless ability to chat with her social media audience has garnered her over one million followers on TikTok alone.

Her hook is this: she begins each clip with the line, “I was gonna tell you something,” which sounds like the elderly loved ones so many of us personally know. The idea is that, perhaps, she thought of something to say, forgot it, and then remembered again. This is followed by her thoughts on life or just a story about her day.

In one viral video (with over 1.7 million views and nearly 63,000 likes), she simply talks about something she learned in school. Her Southern accent in full force, she says, “I was gonna tell you something. Y’all I’m so glad that I learned about parallelograms instead of taxes when I went to school. Cuz it comes in so handy, this parallelogram season.” She then adorably rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

Many on Facebook can relate.

“We were talking about that yesterday. How kids are not taught to write a check and balance it,” someone comments.

Another commenter goes even further, writing, “The amount of times that fractions and decimals have saved my life is incredible! I am so glad they taught me this rather than investments and retirement funds. On another note, can I just say when you pop up and I hear that ‘I was gonna tell y’all something….’ it just makes my day. It’s so refreshing to hear someone else having the same thoughts and feelings regarding these insane times. I sure love you!”

In an interview with First Alert 7, Swinson explained that her oldest great-granddaughter set her up on TikTok in 2020. Thinking she would share a joke or a poem, she rechecked a few months later to find she had become quite popular.

@first.alert.7 We talked to @Torchy Swinson yesterday about how she got started on TikTok tune in to the newscasts tonight to see our Hendricks Hero! community hero fyp permianbasin westtexas ♬ original sound – First Alert 7

We talked to @Torchy Swinson yesterday about how she got started on TikTok tune in to the newscasts tonight to see our Hendricks Hero! community hero fyp permianbasin westtexas

In another clip, Swinson begins with her standard, “I was gonna tell you something.” She leads us to believe this might be a serious post, but it takes a turn: “I may look alright on the outside. But inside, I’ve already had to say ‘bless your heart’ three times.”

View this post on Instagram

An Instagrammer lovingly responds, “Bless your heart every moment of every day from an old TikTok follower from way back.”

Some of her videos cite biblical Psalms, which her audience greatly appreciates. At other times, she simply offers good old-fashioned advice about aging:

“I was gonna tell you something. I just reached the last years of the ‘I’ll be so glad when…’ I wasted so much time on that. ‘I’ll be so glad when they’re out of diapers. I’ll be so glad when they start school. I’ll be so glad when they’re out of school. I’ll be so glad when this, when that…when we can retire.’ If I could tell you one thing, and I’m not trying to be that old wise woman giving you advice, but if I could tell you one thing. Don’t postpone joy. Find your joy in what’s happening today, cuz that’s where it lies.”

@torchyswinson2 ♬ original sound – Torchy Swinson

There are over 20,000 comments just on this clip. Singer Michael Bublé writes, “You’re not trying to be a wise woman. You simply are a wise woman.”

Another TikToker shares, “There is joy in every stage! Love it all, because you’ll miss it when it’s gone.”

Sometimes sharing joy really is the gift that keeps on giving. 

For 23-year-old mailman Lavonte Harvey, joy was found every day along his delivery routes as he sang tunes while dropping off letters and packages. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one enjoying it. As Whitney Cumbo shared on Instagram, Harvey was her grandmother’s “daily dose of life,” especially after she had lost her husband of fifty years.

That’s why Cumbo knew she had to ask Harvey to sing a special song for her grandmother’s birthday. Harvey agreed, and a video of his sweet serenade took off online, garnering more than 14 million views.

It’s easy to see why it resonated with so many. Between Harvey’s angelic vocals, generous spirit, and genuine kindness, there’s so much to love here.

View this post on Instagram

“He has such a beautiful voice …… you can tell he is such a kind soul,” one viewer wrote. 

“Renewing my faith in humanity one song at a time. What a star!!” added another. 

But going viral was only the beginning. After learning that Harvey endured a daily two-and-a-half-hour commute, Cumbo, a financial literacy teacher, set up a GoFundMe for him. It quickly raised enough money to purchase a new truck, cutting his commute to a much more feasible half hour.

View this post on Instagram

“I’m able to walk my dog now in the morning, come home and feed him in time,” Harvey said, according to People. “I’m able to have more of a personal life. It’s not all just work-life based.”

Harvey would later open up about his own mental health, sharing that he struggles with depression, often in silence. For him, singing was a small way to “keep pushing in healthier ways” and, hopefully, uplift others in the process.

After being on the receiving end of such “genuine support [and] love,” Harvey was further inspired to keep spreading joy in new ways, including starting a clothing company.

“For me, I just want to keep spreading hope,” he said, as reported by People. “Be your true, authentic self, don’t allow anyone or nay-sayers tell you who you can or cannot be. Even when no one is watching, be who you are.”

View this post on Instagram

What a lovely sentiment. You never know what magic awaits when you share a piece of your heart with the world. Whether it leads to viral fame, a new car, or simply making someone else’s day, it’s always worth it. May we all find the motivation and courage to share our truest selves today.

While caring for the elderly can be extremely rewarding, it comes with a specific set of challenges that aren’t often discussed. Delivering high-quality care is vital for anyone in this position, but this must come with a level of patience many of us might take for granted.

While visiting my own mother in the senior living home where she resides, I was able to sit down for heart-to-hearts with a few of the caregivers who work for various residents. They opened up in a way I found beautifully vulnerable and surprising. Here are their stories. (At their request, I have changed their names.)

Setting boundaries with families

A woman named Veronica shared that she often feels stuck in the middle of family disputes. “I don’t like it when I’m just trying to do my job and take care of clients and I’ve got 20 people calling me. Sisters, wives, brothers, daughters, sons, and even best friends. Everyone has an opinion. I wish they’d have family meetings and decide what to do without sticking me in the middle.”

Another woman, Anne, added her two cents, saying, “Family dynamics are tricky. I want to respect how hard it is to age on everyone in the family, without feeling like I’m inserting myself in the drama.”

They want to be asked about their day

Anne shares that she sometimes feels invisible. “Sometimes I wish they would ask how things are in my life. What my hopes and wishes are. I would like it if they understood that sometimes I need a day off, or that my body hurts sometimes.”

On a resource site for caregivers, one of the helpful tips is finding the balance between helping others and self-care. This means paying attention to their own mental and physical health needs. “Maintaining your health is crucial for being able to care effectively for your loved one. Take care of your own health by focusing on nutrition, exercise, and sufficient rest. Regular self-care routines can help you stay strong and resilient in the face of caregiving demands.”

Mental Health America also has a few articles dedicated to self-care as a caregiver. “If you cannot remember the last time you slept properly, ate adequately, exercised weekly, or did not feel guilty about taking a sick day, then you’re probably feeling the impacts of caregiving on your mental and physical health. Ask yourself: ‘What could I do to replenish myself?’”

They go on to give tips: “Is there any small action that could improve my life or make me feel more content with my present state? If you’re treating yourself fairly, the answer should be yes. Everyone always has some need that could be better fulfilled—caregivers are no exception.”

Sometimes, especially after a caregiver has worked with a person for more than a month or two, they develop a true bond. While the connection is genuinely satisfying, it can make the loss of that patient even harder.

Mark, who has been working with senior citizens for two decades, explains how devastating the losses can feel. “I worked with a woman named Evelyn for seven years. She passed away at the age of 94. It’s especially hard because when you’re in this business, you might have three clients pass in the span of a few weeks.”

Veronica added, “Sometimes people forget how much we love the elderly we work with.”

These sentiments come back to decompression. Processing just one loss can be difficult. Having to do so for multiple people in a short amount of time takes extra healing time for everyone.

The resource site also notes how important it is to take breaks when needed. “Caregiving can be overwhelming, so taking respite breaks regularly is important. These breaks can help prevent burnout and give you time to recharge. Schedule time for yourself to engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you relax.”

Disney movies have been a part of the American childhood since the studio released its first feature-length animated film in 1937, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Ever since, Disney films have been known for their catchy, clever songs.

On Reddit, logophiles and Disney fans shared advanced vocabulary words they first learned after hearing them in Disney songs.

“Wow we used to be UTTERLY SPOILED with the level of internal rhyme and skillful poetics that went into kid’s songs,” one person wrote.

These are 14 vocabulary words people learned as kids from Disney songs that have stuck with them to this day:

Definition: “To bend the knee; to touch the knee to the floor or ground especially in worship; to be humbly obedient or respectful.”Movie: AladdinSong: “Prince Ali”Lyrics: “Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali AbabwaGenuflect, show some respectDown on one knee”

Definition: “Very careful about doing something in an extremely accurate and exact way; showing or requiring extreme care and attention to detail.”Movie: Lion KingSong: “Be Prepared”Lyrics: “So prepare for the coup of the centuryBe prepared for the murkiest scam (Ooh, la, la, la!)Meticulous planning (We’ll have food!)Tenacity spanning (Lots of food!)Decades of denial (We repeat!)”

Definition: “Mediocre, of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance; ordinary, so-so.”Movie: The Sword in the StoneSong: “That’s What Makes the World Go Round”Lyrics: “You must set your sights upon the heightsDon’t be a mediocrityDon’t just wait and trust to fateAnd say, that’s how it’s meant to be”

Definition: “To eject from the throat or lungs by coughing or hawking and spitting.”Movie: Beauty and the BeastSong: “Gaston”Lyrics: “No one hits like GastonMatches wits like GastonIn a spitting match, nobody spits like GastonI’m especially good at expectoratingTen points for Gaston!”

Definition: “Trifling or empty talk; a sound that is meaningless, repetitive, and suggestive of the chatter of children.”Movie: The Little MermaidSong: “Poor Unfortunate Souls”Lyrics: “The men up there don’t like a lot of blabberThey think a girl who gossips is a boreYes, on land it’s much preferredFor ladies not to say a wordAnd after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?”

Definition: “To be lavish or excessive in one’s attention, fondness, or affection —usually used with on.”Movie: The Little MermaidSong: “Poor Unfortunate Souls”Lyrics: “Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversationTrue gentlemen avoid it when they canBut they dote and swoon and fawnOn a lady who’s withdrawnIt’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man”

Definition: “A restaurant serving liquor and providing entertainment (as by singers or dancers).”Movie: Beauty and the BeastSong: “Be Our Guest”Lyrics: “We’ll prepare and serve with flairA culinary cabaretYou’re aloneAnd you’re scaredBut the banquet’s all prepared”

Definition: “Any of various nonruminant mammals (such as an elephant, a rhinoceros, or a hippopotamus) of a former group (Pachydermata) that have hooves or nails resembling hooves and usually thick skin.”Movie: DumboSong: “Pink Elephants on Parade”Lyrics: “I can stand the sight of wormsAnd look at microscopic germsBut technicolor pachydermsIs really too much for me”

Definition: “A sudden decisive exercise of force in politics and especially the violent overthrow or alteration of an existing government by a small group.”Movie: The Lion KingSong: “Be Prepared”Lyrics: “You won’t get a sniff without me!So prepare for the coup of the centuryBe prepared for the murkiest scam (Ooh, la, la, la!)”

Definition: “A feeling of uneasiness about a point especially of conscience or propriety; a sudden feeling of usually disturbing emotion (such as doubt or fear).”Movie: The Hunchback of Notre DameSong: “The Bells of Notre Dame”Lyrics: “You can lie to yourself and your minionsYou can claim that you haven’t a qualmBut you never can run fromNor hide what you’ve done from the eyesThe very eyes of Notre Dame”

Definition: “A severe or formal reproof; criticism for a fault; rebuke.”Movie: The Little MermaidSong: “Part of Your World”Lyrics: “Bet’cha on land they understandBet they don’t reprimand their daughtersBright young women, sick of swimmin’Ready to stand”

Definition: “Exhibiting mature qualities at an unusually early age; exceptionally early in development or occurrence.”Movie: Mary Poppins Song: “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”Lyrics: “It’s supercalifragilisticexpialidociousEven though the sound of it is something quite atrociousIf you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precociousSupercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

Definition: “A provincial governor of the Mogul empire in India; a person of great wealth or prominence.”Movie: AladdinSong: “Friend Like Me”Lyrics: “Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or threeI’m on the job, you big nabob“

Definition: “A name that a writer uses instead of their legal name; pseudonym; pen name.”Movie: AladdinSong: “One Jump Ahead”Lyrics: “One jump ahead of the slowpokesOne skip ahead of my doomNext time gonna use a nom de plume“

Grief is a universal experience that touches everyone—from kids to adults. And for fourth grade teacher Ryan Brazil, she used her own recent loss to help educate and open up to her students about grief.

In a touching video, Brazil tenderly explained what grief is to her students after they finished reading A Kids Book About Grief by Brennan C. Wood. She tells her class, “More than half our class is in tears and is being vulnerable and brave and sharing stories of their own grief.”

She then pulls out an empty vase that she explains represents her “brain and her heart,” before adding: “I normally have more space for patience, focus, and calm. I showed them how little things that happen during the day like noise, questions, mistakes are like colorful pom poms filling up the vase. Normally, there’s plenty of space to handle those things.”

View this post on Instagram

However, due to grief, she added that she has less space—and put a crumpled up piece of black construction paper in the vase to demonstrate the space grief can occupy in a person’s heart and mind. “It can make you more tired, less patient, and quicker to feel overwhelmed. I wanted my students to understand that if I seemed off lately, it wasn’t about them. It’s just my brain and heart are doing a lot of extra work right now,” she added in the video caption. “It turned into one of the most healing moments I’ve ever had in my classroom.”

Brazil tells Upworthy that the lesson deeply impacted not just her students, but herself. “My sister passed away recently and very unexpectedly, so I’ve been having a difficult time. I was feeling overwhelmed and in pain, and I needed a way to discuss what was happening in my brain and my heart,” Brazil says.

So, she decided to share with her students rather than hide. “Discussing grief with my students changed something in our classroom. So many kids opened up about their own losses,” she says. “Some were more recent and some were before they were born, but they were still hurt by them. There was this release of emotions that felt like they were probably holding on to those feelings for a long time. We really rallied around each other and were there for each other. It was really helpful for me, personally. I felt understood in that moment and part of a community.”

She hopes that her video will encourage others (including educators) to open up to students. “I am not an expert (on most things, honestly), but I don’t think that’s what kids need,” she adds. “They don’t need us to be perfect, they just need us to give them space to feel and understand that feelings are welcome. We all learned that grief isn’t something to hide. It’s something we can learn to hold onto together.”

Expert tips for how to teach kids about grief

Looking for more ways to explain what grief is to your kids? These are five tips from grief experts to help.

Name the feelings, not just the loss

“Kids often mirror our emotions but don’t always have the words for them. Instead of avoiding words like sad or angry, model using them out loud: ‘I’m feeling sad today because I miss Grandpa’,” Angie Hanson, a certified grief coach, educator, and author of Chapters of a Resilient Heart, tells Upworthy. “This helps kids name and normalize their own emotions. Grief becomes less scary when it’s spoken about openly.”

Tip #2: Use simple, honest language

“It is commonplace to use words like ‘passed away’ or ‘lost’ when talking about death, but these words can be confusing and add to misconceptions and anxiety for young children,” Jessica Correnti, MS, Certified Child Life Specialist at Kids Grief Support and author of The ABCs of Grief, tells Upworthy. “It is recommended to use concrete, factual words like ‘death,’ ‘died,’ and ‘dying’ even though these may feel blunt or difficult to say. Grief is a small word, but a very confusing and layered experience.”

Create a “heart space” ritual

“Like the vase activity, give grief a visual home. Create a small jar or box called a heart space,” says Hanson. “When they miss someone, they can place drawings, notes, or keepsakes inside. This teaches them that love doesn’t disappear, it changes form, and it’s okay to keep that connection.”

Keep grief in the conversation, not just the moment

“Children revisit grief as they grow. Keep their loved one’s memory woven into everyday life,” says Hanson. “Bake their favorite cookies, tell stories, or say, ‘I wonder what Grandma would think of this.’ It shows that grief isn’t a one-time event but an ongoing expression of love and remembrance.”

Recognize that you may be grieving too

“It is important for adults to have trusted spaces and people to confide in about their grief reactions so they can be present and available for their child(ren),” Dr. Micki Bruns, Ph.D., a childhood bereavement experts and CEO of Judi’s House/JAG Institute, a childhood bereavement center in Denver, Colorado, tells Upworthy. “At the same time, adults should normalize grief reactions and model healthy coping.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Flying on airplanes with dozens of perfect strangers is, in many ways, a social experiment. We’re forced to sit in seats that aren’t big enough for most of us, uncomfortably close to people we don’t know (some of whom are stressed out or anxious), with unclear social etiquette rules we haven’t all collectively agreed upon.

And yet we do it because the miracle of human flight enabling us to travel in hours to places that used to take days, weeks, or even longer, is too awesome to pass up. Most of us have things we’d prefer our fellow passengers do or not do to make the experience better for everyone, however, so we asked our Upworthy Facebook audience, “If you could enforce one social rule during flights, what would it be?” The responses were largely what you might expect and you can see them below, but there was one unexpected comment that stood out. The rule that received the most love, with over 1,200 likes, was this one:

Any dog on the plane has to visit every passenger that requests

While not everyone loves dogs, most people do. And what would make a flight more enjoyable than getting to meet a dog on board? Perhaps we can start a petition to make cabin doggy visits for anyone who wants them an official thing…

Other responses were helpful reminders of both common courtesy and somewhat standard airplane etiquette for those who might not fly often enough to be familiar with it. In addition to the “meet the dog” rule, here are 10 more social rules people wish they could enforce on flights:

Be nice to flight attendants

Imagine being responsible for both the comfort and safety of 100+ people from different places with different needs in a cabin hurtling through the sky 30,000 feet above the Earth. Flight attendants deal with a wide array of people day in and day out, and we should all make sure we treat them with the kindness and respect that they deserve.

Middle seat gets the armrests

Nobody should be hogging the armrests, but if anyone has a right to them, it’s the sacrificial soul who has to sit in the middle seat. (And window seat controls the window, in case that’s not common sense.)

No matter your age, headphones to listen to things on a flight are a must. Photo credit: Canva

No one wants to listen to your video but you. Imagine if everyone listened to movies or YouTube videos or whatever without headphones—total social chaos. In public and on planes, use headphones to listen or watch something.

We all know the legroom on flights has become practically non-existent, and for people with long legs it can be hard to not bang your knees up against the seat in front of you. But spreading your legs apart so wide that it infringes on other people’s leg space just isn’t cool. We’re all in the same boat, so we have to respect one another’s space.

Keep your shoes and socks on

There may be an exception here for long-haul flights as long as you keep your socks on and don’t have stinky feet, but bringing a pair of slippers or something is still courteous. But definitely keep your socks on and be aware that you might not be able to tell if your own feet smell.

One overhead bag per passenger until everyone’s got their luggage settled. Photo credit: Canva

Don’t put a second bag or a jacket in the overhead bin until everyone has put their first bag in

Overhead space is limited, so wait until everyone has had a chance to get their carry-on into that space before adding more than your one bag to it. Once everyone’s settled in, feel free to add whatever overflow you have.

We’ve all been on a flight where someone let one rip and made everyone’s eyes water. Unless you have zero choice in the matter, refrain from dropping gas bombs on your fellow passengers. We’re all human and humans fart, but an airplane cabin is a tight spot where people can’t get away. At least take it to the lavatory if you can.

Be aware of smells in general

Come clean and fresh, but not perfumed. Deodorant? Yes, please. Strong cologne or perfume? No. Food that emits a strong odor? Also no.

Even if you know it by heart, please don’t talk during the safety demonstration. Photo credit: Canva

Stay quiet during the safety demonstration

Some people fly all the time and could recite the safety demonstration spiel by heart, but that doesn’t mean everyone is familiar with it. It only takes a few minutes and first-time flyers need to hear it. It’s respectful to the flight attendants to not talk through their presentation and courteous to other passengers who need to listen.

Remain seated until it’s your row’s turn to deplane

On most flights, as soon as the plane arrives at the gate and the seatbelt sign is turned off, people rush to stand up and gather their luggage. But it’s always going to take several minutes to even start getting the first passengers off the plane, and it’s not going to go any faster to crowd into the aisle.

If we all follow these “rules,” flying can be a more pleasant experience for everyone—even our good doggo friends who might be on board.

This article originally appeared last year It has been updated.

Evan Edinger moved to London over 13 years ago to study abroad but never planned on staying overseas permanently. His goal was to get his degree, return to the United States, start his career, and make a life for himself. He thought of his time in London as a “temporary adventure.”

But when he finished his degree, he found himself in an unexpected situation: He didn’t want to go back. “The longer I stayed in London,” Edinger shares on his YouTube channel, “the more I began to notice all of the assumptions that I’d grown up believing in America, the things I was brought up to believe were undeniably true and just the way the world worked—it turns out they weren’t true at all.”

One of the benefits of living in another country is seeing your country of origin through different eyes. That perspective can cause you to appreciate some things and question other things. Edinger shares nine realizations he’s had about the U.S. since he left, starting with one of the most quintessentially American realities he found himself questioning.

Edinger grew up in New Jersey and describes it as “quite a blue state,” but he was still immersed in the gun culture that views gun ownership as a fundamental part of being an American.

“I was raised in a very pro-gun household,” Edinger says. “In my family home in America, we had a 12-gauge shotgun, a 10-gauge, a black powder rifle, and a .410 shotgun for the children. My dad would take us out some days to shoot empty cans of beer or play pigeons or sometimes go hunting for pheasants or deer.”

He says the notion of not owning a gun was unthinkable in his upbringing. “The idea that other countries do not allow guns is viewed more like these other countries are missing a fundamental right,” he says.

His ideas about guns have changed dramatically since moving to London and living in a society without ubiquitous access to guns. “Visiting Philadelphia when I was younger was always scary to me because I never knew who had a gun, who wanted to rob me,” Edinger shares. “Visiting New Orleans a couple years ago, I was told by my hotel staff that a few days prior, a tourist was shot and died in the local Popeye’s Chicken because he caught a stray bullet of two people having an argument in the restaurant. So, that’s just something that people just have to deal with. This constant fear of I could just die being caught in a crossfire and there’s nothing I can really do about it because freedom. I’ve pretty much never felt that level of fear in London at all. And that alone was enough to sway my opinion on guns.”

“One thing that’s really drilled into you pretty much every year of American school is that American democracy is the end-all be-all of government and that it is the beacon of freedom other countries look to emulate. Then, once you become an adult and you see how dysfunctional the U.S. government is, you search for anything to feel better about it and usually settle on ‘Well, at least it’s not a third world dictatorship.’”

But those aren’t the only two options. Edinger explains how the parliamentary system in the U.K. is far from perfect, but it tends to be more effective at actually getting things done because lawmakers aren’t constantly stymied by the inherently destructive two-party gridlock we have in the U.S.

“It’s messy, yes, but after 13 years away, I’ve come to the belief that no system of government is perfect,” he says. “But most systems in Western Europe are far more effective than what I grew up believing was the ‘best in the world.’”

3. Walkability and Public Transport

In the U.S., having a car is practically a symbol of freedom, but Edinger says he’s never felt the need to have a car in his 13 years living in London. He says it’s been incredibly freeing to be able to walk and take public transit everywhere, and not just in the city. He’s been able to travel all over Europe, in larger cities and small towns, and the focus on walkable neighborhoods and public transportation is everywhere.

It’s much easier to get around without a car in Europe. Photo credit: Canva

“After having spent some time living in walkable neighborhoods, I would never ever choose to live in a car dependent place ever again,” Edinger says. “It is truly one of the most life-changing parts of living over here. And because I’m always walking everywhere, because I’m always cycling everywhere, it’s so much easier to be healthy and physically fit without even trying.”

4. Food Quality and Price

Europe has different regulations than the U.S., Edinger explains, with an approach that leads to a lot less additives and chemicals being added to foods.

“Europe’s food agency focuses on possibilities and the U.S.’s focuses on probabilities. Is it possible an unnecessary additive could be harmful? Europe prohibits it just to be safe. The US agency, the FDA, they only step in if the probability of it being harmful is high. So, that risk is passed on to the average American consumer.”

Edinger also points out that the ability to walk down to the store to get fresh ingredients regularly makes it a lot easier to eat well. “It’s one of those things where once you experience both, there is no contest. No contest. So, it’s much easier to be healthy in Europe than in America.”

5. Healthcare in the U.S. vs. Europe

“If my health does have issues, I am glad it’s not something that would ever bankrupt me or cause me to ever think about how much it would have to cost me just to be sick,” says Edinger.

Americans often hear horror stories about socialized medicine, but Edinger’s experience with going to the doctor and even going to the hospital have been positive, and barely cost him anything.

The U.S. is an outlier in the world when it comes to healthcare costs. Photo credit: Canva

“There are only two types of people that are against the freeing social safety net that is universal healthcare,” says Edinger. “People that have never experienced socialized healthcare and people that profit from the broken system. That’s it.” Most Americans want it, but “most Americans” is not where the money is.

6. Consumer Protections in the U.S. vs Europe

Edinger shares that he bought a MacBook Pro in 2019 that didn’t work right, and he hadn’t purchased AppleCare because he knew he didn’t have to.

“If you buy a tech product in Europe, you have a reasonable expectation that it should last you at least two years free of defects,” says Edinger. “And if it’s not up to your expectations or breaks down before then, you can demand a return or replacement. This law protects consumers from shady business practices.”

He ended up getting his full money back on the computer due to those consumer protections.

“It’s laws like this where you really begin to notice a pattern that life in Europe is one that gives more rights to the everyday person over giant corporations and shared benefit over private,” says Edinger.

“A quick summary would be 28 days minimum paid holiday, one year paid maternity leave, two weeks paid paternity leave, sick leave, even the right against unlawful termination,” said Edinger. “When working part-time at Urban Outfitters in London, even though I worked less than 20 hours a week, I still got two days paid holiday per month. That’s insane, right? No, that’s just life over here. Meanwhile, I worked five years at a Pizza Hut in New Jersey for over 30 hours per week. Never got a single day of paid vacation.”

Indeed, there’s more than a handful of European countries that guarantee at least a month of paid days off, with some countries actually requiring a certain number of days or weeks off.

Europeans get far more generous paid leave than Americans do. Photo credit: Canva

Edinger points out the irony that he was always taught that the U.S. was for the individual, for individual freedoms. But in his experience, in Europe individuals have more rights than those with money or power, while it’s the opposite in the U.S.

8. Money (Live to work or work to live?)

Edinger says that most things are more affordable in Europe, from groceries to data plans, but Americans do earn higher salaries.

“So if you earn a lot of money and money is your sole defining metric of success, then you can feel a lot more successful in the U.S.,” he says. “But because the culture in Europe is work to live and not live to work, you might find that the stress and cost tradeoffs and quality of life erode the value of that higher salary quite quickly.”

9. On Romanticizing Europe

People often wonder if Americans romanticize Europe too much, and Edinger says the same question used to be asked of Europeans romanticizing America. But now that we have YouTube and social media and a better ability to see the realities of both places, he says what Americans “romanticize” about Europe is really just the things we want and don’t have.

Work-life balance is something a lot of Americans struggle with. Photo credit: Canva

“I think most Americans who are eyeing up Europe are doing so because of the things that America is lacking. Nearly two in three Americans want universal healthcare. Well, America doesn’t offer that. Again, two in three Americans want European style vacation policies. America doesn’t offer that. And 53% of Americans would prefer to live in a walkable neighborhood, but sorry, America doesn’t offer that. The list goes on. If America were an actual democracy, I don’t think many of these people would be having romanticized views of Europe at all because they wouldn’t need to. They could have everything they wanted in the country they were born and raised.”

Of course, every country has its problems and there are certainly downsides to moving abroad. Edinger acknowledges that but says it really boils down to what you value in life. Americans are taught to romanticize the U.S., and leaving it helps you see the reality, what’s good about your country and where it has room for improvement.

“I think the main thing though out of everything that I miss about the U.S. that I can’t really get here is not rights, not freedoms, not anything that’s big on quality of life improvements,” says Edinger. “It’s just Mexican food and good ice cream.”

You can follow Evan Edinger on YouTube for more on his experiences as an American living abroad.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

When people talk about the world older generations grew up in, it’s often looked at through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. Life was simpler back then. We didn’t have all the trappings of technology or the burdens of busy modern life. Sure, we had to do more things manually, but the world was safer and cleaner and generally better back then, right?

Not so fast. As some of the younger generations have noticed, the 1970s is often spoken about with nostalgic fondness but portrayed differently in entertainment. That observation led someone to ask Gen Xers and Boomers, “Were the 1970s really as grimy and gloomy and sleazy as the movies make it look?” Surprisingly, folks who lived through the ’70s took off their rose-colored glasses to remind us all of how far we’ve actually come in the past 50 years.

Were the 1970s really as grimy and gloomy and sleazy as the movies make it look? byu/SandNo2865 inAskOldPeople

While “grimy” and “gloomy” and “sleazy” may be strong terms, they’re not entirely inaccurate, according to the older folks who responded to the question. Of course, some places had more problems than others and big cities had it the worst, but some of the “grime” was widespread. Here are the truths behind the film portrayals:

While L.A. still struggles with air quality, it has seen a vast, visible improvement since the days of thick, brown smog hovering over the city and people mistaking it for a gas attack.

Downtown 1968. Yeah, this tracks. Those of us who grew up in LA up thru the 1970s recall not being able to make out buildings or mountains just blocks away on bad smog days & you'd cough just by inhaling a deep breath. I've never smoked but I'm sure my lungs think otherwise. 😆 pic.twitter.com/QEljzskXrn— L.A. Dork (@la_dorkout) July 25, 2025

Downtown 1968. Yeah, this tracks. Those of us who grew up in LA up thru the 1970s recall not being able to make out buildings or mountains just blocks away on bad smog days & you'd cough just by inhaling a deep breath. I've never smoked but I'm sure my lungs think otherwise. 😆 pic.twitter.com/QEljzskXrn

“I lived in Los Angeles as a kid, and it wasn’t unusual to have days we weren’t allowed to go outside at school because the smog was so bad it literally hurt to breathe.”

“A old joke that probably doesn’t make sense nowadays: ‘What do you see in California when the smog lifts? UCLA.’”

“We called them Smog alerts. We couldn’t go out for recess on those days.”

“The mountains were mythical, growing up in L.A. On the occasional clear day you’d hear people saying, ‘Wait, those are there all the time?’ Thank goodness for better emissions control.”

Air and water pollution in general

The Environmental Protection Agency was begun under President Nixon in 1970, and it would take awhile for the new department to get established and policies to take hold.

On the creation of NOAA & EPA under his signature:“Congress, the Administration and the public all share a profound commitment to the rescue of our natural environment, and the preservation of the Earth as a place both habitable by and hospitable to man.”—Richard Nixon 1970 pic.twitter.com/NnZ2nYm5sy— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 23, 2025

On the creation of NOAA & EPA under his signature:“Congress, the Administration and the public all share a profound commitment to the rescue of our natural environment, and the preservation of the Earth as a place both habitable by and hospitable to man.”—Richard Nixon 1970 pic.twitter.com/NnZ2nYm5sy

“Yes. 60’s and 70’s every major American city had days where there was really low visibility, distant landmarks obscured, brown, white, rusty, hazy cast and layers. Car, truck and bus exhaust pollution. In some areas, strong chemical and odors fr factories and animal processing plants. In the winter you could taste the sulfur in the air from some smaller city power stations burning coal. Flying into some cities was a descent from clean air into a dark brown layer of pollution.”

“Bad enough that the EPA was born at that time; Woodsy Owl, the ‘Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute’ mascot was born; the Crying Indian commercial was first broadcast; the Clean Water Act was amended (originally from 1948 and called Federal Water Pollution Control Act).

We lived near a refinery town in the 60s and 70s. Gawd, I had asthma and was constantly having to go to the hospital, to the point the doctors told my parents to keep me inside. Or course, them being smokers made it pretty much from the frying pan to the fire.

The 70s were the years of introducing environmental awareness to a population that was coughing, hacking and used to brown air.”

“That was when people finally said ‘Wait, you mean rivers aren’t supposed to catch fire when a train passes by and some sparks fly off the rail?’ and ‘What do you mean they’re actually supposed to have flowing water in them, instead of oozing sludge?’”

Littering was commonplace

It might be hard to imagine now, but it was totally normal in certain eras to just throw your trash out the window of your car or leave your bottles or cans wherever you finished them.

“I think everyone kinda forgets how much trash there was. My generation grew up with the crying Indian and ‘give a hoot, don’t pollute.’ Before that, people really did just throw their trash out the car windows. There was a LOT more trash on the roads.”

“We used to make a fair bit of money picking up aluminum cans, and smashing them to sell for scrap. Loads of them.”

“It was quite common for people to throw trash out of their cars. beer bottles by the side of the road. In the late 1970s, Michigan voted in bottle deposits, and afterwards there was quite a difference in the roadside as you crossed the Ohio border in I-75. With the deposits, there was more incentive to pick them up, too, because each one was worth a dime. Didn’t take too many to pay for a $1 movie that had already been in the big theaters for a month or two.”

“Recycling was pretty much non-existent. It seemed that people burned trash a lot more commonly, as well.”

“There’s a scene in Mad Men where they have a picnic and Don casually pitches his beer can into the woods. It used to be like that.”

Times Square was NSFW

If people think Times Square is tacky now, with all of its flashy billboards, it’s a far cry from the “sleazy” strip it used to be.

“That Times Square scene in Taxi Driver was Cinema Verite, it was exactly like that.”

“Yeah, I used to have to travel to New York in the late ‘70s. The sleaze factor around Times Square was significant.”

“Times Square was full of porn theaters and you didn’t go to what is now the High Line neighborhood unless you wanted hookers and blow.”

“First time I went to NYC as a kid in like 1994 I remember a ton of porn theaters. They must have cleaned them all up within a few years, because I never saw them again on later visits.”

People smoked everywhere

My mom told me highschools had smoking areas when she was younger pic.twitter.com/OqEKlDvEh1— Thrilla the Gorilla (@ThrillaRilla369) October 18, 2025

My mom told me highschools had smoking areas when she was younger pic.twitter.com/OqEKlDvEh1

“Everyone smoked. Everyone and everywhere. I can’t believe we all don’t have lung cancer. Even us nonsmokers.”

“Restaurants and Bars were smoky greasy and pretty grimy. It had to be a really nice place to smell fresh. The lighting was terrible. Most places had terrible air circulation. Everywhere reeked of cigarette, pipe and cigar smoke. Food odors. Old grease.”

“Grimy? Yes. People smoked in their offices. After hours outside in the unemployment line, get to stand in line an oxygen free smoke filled enclosed sea of humanity with one bathroom to be insulted by cranky civil servants. Seems every building had cigarette and cigar tar wall and ceiling coatings.”

Were there a lot of great things about the 1970s? Of course. There’s a lot that we can take from every decade that was positive, including the one we are living through now. But this reflection on the less-than-stellar elements of the ’70s and the big improvements we’ve made since then on all of these fronts should give us hope that we are capable of collectively moving in the right direction.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


© Upworthy