There are so many conflicting ideas about building self-confidence in children. Is there a right way? Could praise be harmful? Should everyone receive a gold star? As with many things in life, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one, hiding in plain sight, or just out of it.

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice “gentle-parenting” with their daughter, Nhyara. Shared in a video on Instagram, one of their techniques is talking about Nhyara when she’s within earshot but out of sight. These aren’t your typical behind-closed-doors parent conversations: no venting about daily frustrations or sharing complaints they’d never say to her face. Instead, they create intentional moments of celebration, offering genuine praise and heartfelt affirmation.

In a viral Instagram post that’s garnered over one million likes, Mulwanda writes, “POV: You talk behind your child’s back so they can hear you.” Self-described as a “passionate mother, content creator, and small business owner,” Mulwanda naturally overflows with ideas: she writes a Substack, She Who Blooms, which is about “blooming in our own time, in our own way.” She also runs Rooted, a shop where she “carefully curates products that embody the essence of growth, empowerment, and staying rooted in one’s true self.”

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In the video, Mulwanda and her partner sit in a quiet corner, chatting about their daughter Nhyara while occasionally peeking around to see if she’s listening—which she is. With her within earshot but not directly part of the conversation, they discuss their........

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