Speaking clearly and concisely is a communication skill greatly appreciated in both personal and professional conversations. And getting a conversation started with someone who rambles is usually a small-talk nightmare.

As communication expert Chris Fenning explained, “We can tell pretty quickly if someone’s going to get to the point or if we are in for a long and painful conversation.”

Fenning, a former self-professed rambler, shared exactly how you can avoid being long-winded and unclear during conversations. He offered up his simple three-step conversation technique during a 2025 TEDx Talk.

The 60-second clear communication trick

The start of any conversation sets the tone for a productive interaction. As Fenning explained, “Every time we communicate, we have an opportunity to create clarity or confusion. And clarity begins from the very first minute.”

If the first minute of a conversation goes wrong, they can become “longer, less effective, and more frustrating,” added Fenning.

To avoid that, he created a three-letter acronym called TIP that outlines an easy framework for productive conversations:

T: Topic I: Intent P: Point

TIP conversation framework

According to Fenning, the TIP method works as follows:

Every conversation needs a clear topic. Fenning says that with a clear topic, everyone can stay in sync and understand what will be discussed.

“Start your message with one sentence that names the topic you want to talk about. And the more specific, the better,” said Fenning. “One message, one sentence that lets your audience know what the topic is.”

“I want to talk about July sales figures.”

“I want to talk about Project Everest’s timeline.”

“I want to talk about our 1-on-1 this week.”

Intent should explain what you want the other person to do with your message. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why are you telling me this?” while talking with someone, it’s because their intent was unclear, explains Fenning.

He adds that our brains go through a process called selective attention that determines what information is important and what is not. If your brain doesn’t know what to do with a message, it reads it as “not important, and we stop listening,” Fenning said.

By making your intent clear, you are telling your audience what to do with the information you’re giving them.

If you have a question, say, “Can I ask you a question?”

If you want someone to make a decision, say, “I’d like your help with this decision.”

If you want to get something off your chest, say, “Is it okay if I vent for a minute?”

Fenning says this is the most important piece of advice, and if you only had five seconds to speak, this is what you would lead with.

“We need a point. We need a headline,” he explained. “Something that tells us where this conversation is going. In one sentence, deliver the most important piece of information.”

“I want to give a refund for a late delivery.”

“Our project launch is going to be delayed for a month.”

While a bottle of bubbles might seem out of place in a hospital setting, you might be surprised to learn that, for thousands of children around the world born with cleft lip and palate, they can be a helpful tool in comprehensive cleft care. Lilia, who was born with cleft lip and palate in 2020, is one of the many patients who received this care. 

As a toddler, Lilia underwent two surgeries to treat cleft lip and palate with Operation Smile’s surgical program in Puebla, Mexico. Because of Operation Smile’s comprehensive care, it wasn’t long before her personality transformed: Lilia went from a quiet and withdrawn toddler to an exuberant, curious explorer, babbling, expressing herself with a variety of sounds, and engaging with others like any child her age. 

Lilia is now a healthy five-year-old, with the same cheerful attitude and boundless energy. Her progress is the result of care at every level, from surgery to speech therapy to ongoing support at home—but it’s also evidence that small, sustained interventions throughout it all can make a meaningful difference. 

Cleft Conditions: A Global Problem

Since 1982, Operation Smile has provided cleft lip and cleft palate surgeries to more than 500,000 patients worldwide with the help of generous volunteers and donors. Cleft conditions are congenital conditions, meaning they are present at birth. With cleft lip and palate, the lip or the roof of the mouth do not form fully during fetal development. Cleft conditions put children at risk for malnutrition and poor weight gain, since their facial structure can make feeding challenging. But cleft conditions can have an enormous social impact as well: Common difficulties with speech can leave kids socially isolated and unable to meet the same developmental milestones as their peers. 

Surgery is a vital step in treating cleft conditions, but it’s also just one part of a much larger solution. Organizations like Operation Smile emphasize the importance of multi-disciplinary teams that provide comprehensive, long-term care to patients across many years. This approach, which includes oral care, speech therapy, nutritional support, and psychosocial care, not only aids in physical recovery from surgery but also helps children develop the skills and confidence to eat easily, speak clearly, and engage in everyday life. This ensures that each patient receives the full range of support they need to thrive. 

A Playful (and Powerful) Solution

Throughout a patient’s care, simple tools like bubbles can play a meaningful role from start to finish. 

Immediately before surgery, children are often in a new and unfamiliar environment far from home, some of them experiencing a hospital setting for the first time. When care providers or loved ones blow bubbles, it’s a simple yet effective technique: Not only are the children soothed and distracted, the bubbles also help create a sense of joy and playfulness that eases their anxiety. 

In speech therapy, bubbles can take on an even more important role. Blowing bubbles requires controlled airflow, as well as the ability to form a rounded “O” shape with the lips, which are skills that children with cleft conditions may struggle to develop. Practicing these skills with bubbles allows children to gently strengthen their facial muscles, improve breath control, and support the motor skills needed for speech development. Beyond that, blowing bubbles can help kids connect with their parents or providers in a way that’s playful, comforting, and accessible even for very young patients. 

Finally, bubbles often follow patients with cleft conditions home in the “smile bags” that each patient receives when the surgical procedure is finished. Smile bags, which help continue speech therapy outside of the hospital setting, can contain language enrichment booklets, a mirror, oxygen tubing, and bubbles. While regular practice with motor skills can help with physical recovery, small acts of play help as well, giving kids space to simply enjoy themselves and join in on what peers are able to do.

Bubbles at Home and Beyond

Today, because of Operation Smile’s dedication to comprehensive cleft care, Lilia is now able to make friends and speak clearly, all things that could have been difficult or impossible before. Instead of a childhood defined by limitation, Lilia—and others around the world—can look forward to a childhood filled with joy, learning, discovery, friends, and new possibilities.  

CTA: Lilia’s life was changed for the better with the care she received through Operation Smile. Find out how you can make an impact in other children’s lives by visiting operationsmile.org today. 

Most married couples are aware of the alarming statistics: About 40-50% of first marriages are destined to end in divorce. On the bright side, that’s a number that has been falling steadily since the 1980s as people get married later and are more selective before settling down. On the bleaker side, it still means that “happily ever after” is hardly a guarantee.

Couples who are determined to buck the trend all have their own approach. It could be proactive couples’ therapy, a weekly date night, or the classic “never go to bed angry.” Some even have hard “rules” that neither is allowed to break, all in the name of protecting the relationship.

Couples coach shares the rules that she actually uses in her own marriage

Adele is a relationship coach who runs Happy Couples Connect. She has over half a million followers on social media and teaches adults “how to communicate in a healthy way so you can feel heard, valued, loved, and respected in your relationship.”

On Instagram, her bio tagline reads: “This page is for you if marriage is hard right now but you’re not ready to give up.”

Adele’s content resonates with her audience because she’s not afraid to share the real, uncomfortable truths from her own relationship. She says there was a time when there wasn’t a disagreement that wasn’t met with an explosive fight or a silent treatment. Fixing that is what inspired Adele to start her practice.

In a recent post on Instagram, Adele shares the five rules that she and her wife “never break.” She adds that a few years ago, these rules “didn’t exist” and the couple were on the brink of divorce.

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The five rules of marriage, according to this relationship coach. Experts agree.

Adele lists out her relationship’s rules in the caption, and while it starts off with a few easier-said-than-done common sense policies, there are a few surprises on the list:

“Rule 1: We treat each other like two humans, not two perfect robots. We both mess up. Expecting perfection does not raise the standard. It just grows resentment.”

Other relationship experts might call this assuming the best in your partner. It’s terrific life advice when dealing with anyone you like, love, or respect. Come into disagreements with the understanding that they care and are trying, not assuming bad intentions.

“Rule 2: We choose to focus on what the other is doing right. The more we look for it, the more we see it. What you focus on expands. We choose to make that a gift.”

A natural tie-in to Rule 1, but it’s definitely easier to preach than to put into practice. It’s easy to nitpick and criticize all the little things our partner doesn’t do for us, meanwhile we’re overlooking the dozens of other things they are doing. It’s a rapid way to build resentment or contempt, which is the number one predictor of divorce.

“Rule 3: No phones after dinner. Because if they are within reach we will scroll, disconnect, and then wonder why we do not feel close.”

Tons of research has been done to show that cell phones can negatively impact our relationships if we’re not careful. In basic terms, scrolling your phone when your partner is nearby can make them feel less important. “When we sit down for dinner with our famlies and we put the phone on the table, it sends a psychological message to everyone sitting there that ‘You are not the most important thing to me right now,” says Simon Sinek.

“Rule 4: No hard conversations after 9 p.m. Late at night everything feels bigger than it is. We talk when we are rested, not exhausted.”

This is a popular concept in therapy and counseling circles. Not only does getting into a heated argument right before bed ruin your sleep, thereby making you crankier the next day, these arguments escalate more than they would during the day.

“Your amygdala (your emotional alarm system) becomes more reactive when you’re sleep-deprived or simply tired at the end of a long day. This combination means you’re more likely to perceive threat or criticism in neutral statements, react more defensively, say things you don’t mean, and struggle to see your partner’s perspective,” writes Quadra Wellness.

“Rule 5: A 30 second hug before any hard conversation. It lowers tension, reminds us we are on the same team and resets our nervous systems before we say a word.”

A hug is one of the most powerful human acts. A long, genuine hug with someone you love lowers stress, boosts oxytocin (the love hormone that makes you feel deep bonds and connection), and makes you happier. This puts you in a much more stable mindset before tackling hard conversations.

Relationship and communication skills don’t grow without effort

You’d think that being with someone for a long time would mean steadily learning to improve your communication over the years. That’s not always the case. In fact, often the opposite happens.

Little disagreements and petty grudges don’t get communicated effectively. They’re kept inside and they snowball into criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling. These are what groundbreaking marriage therapist John Gottman calls “the four horsemen.” Once these start showing up regularly in your relationships, you’re in big........

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