Like snowflakes, no two friendships are exactly alike. It’s why we come away from some hangouts feeling giddy, excited, and socially charged, and from others feeling nourished and seen, reminded of how deeply our roots intertwine. An expert says there’s good reason for that.

In a recent Instagram post, Kasley Killam, a Harvard-trained “friendship expert” and researcher on social connection, shares on The Mel Robbins Podcast that four friendship styles exist: the butterfly, the wallflower, the firefly, and the evergreen.

Understanding each style and how they mix and match in a relationship can help us process and manage our expectations.

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Killam first introduces the butterfly style by holding up a small painting of a butterfly.

“We’ve all heard of the ‘social butterfly.’ Butterflies thrive on frequent, casual connection. So if you think about a butterfly in nature, they flutter from flower to flower. They’re pollinating the flowers; they’re drinking nectar. A butterfly in a social context is someone who’s really comfortable socializing with people…has an easy time striking up a conversation, makes people feel comfortable, and really enjoys casual connection. They’re a great party guest, a great party host for that reason.”

She then holds up a colorful sketch of yellow........

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