The observance of today’s Fast of the Seventeenth of Tammuz (שבעה עשר בתמוז) offers a surprising opportunity for a Day of Marriage Reflection especially since it is the launch of the three-week period of mourning culminating in the observance of Tisha B’ Av, and focuses on the national tragedies which sparked and led ultimately to the destruction of the two temples known as the Beit HaMikdash.

And particularly since every Jewish home is intended to be a mikdash me’at, a “miniature sanctuary and Temple,” and in fact as the Lubavitcher Rebbe explains, the consciousness in every Jewish home should be that of a microcosm of the Temple, it behooves us to examine the tragedies for what they teach us about preserving and protecting our own temples on the home front.

The Tragedy of the Breach in the Wall

One of the five tragedies commemorated in today’s observance is the breaching of the walls of  Jerusalem by the Romans, in 69 CE, after a lengthy siege. The breaching gave the impetus to the ultimate destruction of the Temple on the Ninth of Av.

In marriage, this is a profound and compelling metaphor.

Human nature is to turn our attention to the Main Events in Life without remembering the actions that set in motion the event. In the case of the temple, the breach in the walls of Jerusalem afforded our enemy the path which led directly to the destruction of the walls of the Temple.

In our marriages, we often overlook the “small breaches” that lead to the inevitable crisis moments.

conversations replaced by a partner focusing on the iPhone and other technological distractions

criticism replacing........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)