It’s pub day for actress, activist, and New York Times bestselling author Annabelle Gurwitch as she debuts her memoir, The End of My Life is Killing Me: The Unexpected Joys of a Cancer Slacker. The book has received extensive advance praise, including the coveted Buzz Books distinction as one of the most buzz-worthy releases of the season. The highly anticipated memoir is published by Zibby Publishing (from Zibby Media’s Founder and CEO Zibby Owens) and officially hits bookshelves today, March 17.

Born out of a stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis, Annabelle describes her memoir as “…the book I didn’t think I’d live long enough to write.” New York Times bestselling author Will Schwalbe calls the book “…a Trojan Horse of sorts: a hysterically funny page-turner that is packed throughout with practical advice and timeless wisdom.”

Curious about that adorable chick on the cover? Much like the curveball that prompted the book in the first place, the cover art also served up an unexpected twist. While Annabelle initially envisioned a Bernini sculpture as the symbol of her memoir, the universe (or in this case, her publishing team) had other plans. Annabelle notes, “It’s just like life: you’re thinking Baroque masterpiece and life gives you a chicken doing yoga.”

Annabelle’s title and witty charm had me hooked immediately. I was eager to learn more, in this first installment of my new series highlighting Jewish authors as they publish new work. (Because if you haven’t noticed, there’s never been a better time to support the Jewish community.)

Leah Grossman: Hi, Annabelle! Please tell us about your book. What can readers expect to find beyond that cute yogi on the cover?

Annabelle Gurwitch: The chicken doing yoga on the cover is really connected to the theme of the book, which is that life sometimes becomes so absurd…and these moments become opportunities, what are you going to do about it? You’re just going to have to kick up your heels and find some joy. And when joy is hard to come by, find enjoyment in small pleasures and celebrate the tiniest of victories.

I hope to upend readers’ expectations, because the book starts with a cancer diagnosis. The book, though, isn’t about being in treatment for cancer—it’s a book about finding resilience and strategies to re-engage in living when you’re living through long-term challenges. I think this idea of asking what brings us joy during hard times is really an important one in the world right now.

When I was first diagnosed, I tried to carpe a lot of diem—I wanted to seize the day. For instance, when my fingerprints disappeared (it’s a side effect of the medication), I tried to steal a Yaacov Agam drawing that was displayed in the basement of Cedars-Sinai where I was being treated. I thought, what’s the worst that could happen—a life sentence? I had some crazy ideas, but I stand by my love of Agam’s work!

And then I went on this great goodbye trip, I flew around to see friends to say goodbye to them…in case I didn’t survive this. It was very emotional, it was joyous, but exhausting, and I realized after doing all of these things that I needed to find a sustainable way of creating joy. That’s what the book is about, small strategies for cultivating everyday joys.

One of them, for instance, is making regular dates with friends—this became a kind of scaffolding for things to look forward to in my life. For one friend, it was regular hikes (and by that, I mean walks). For another set of friends, we signed up for ukulele lessons together, but there was a stipulation. The stipulation was we didn’t have to practice, and we didn’t have to improve. And in fact, we got worse. We’re terrible ukulele players! It was just about getting together and doing this fun activity. These kinds of regular get-togethers became important to me, and I share them because we often wait for big occasions to get together and I’ve learned that it’s these little moments that lift my spirits.

Leah: You clearly have some incredible stories to share. I heard you somehow ended up on a European van tour selling merch for a heavy metal band? I’m intrigued, to say the least!

Annabelle: This is when I was trying to carpe every diem. I agreed to travel on a low rent van tour with a heavy metal band because I had just started seeing the band’s manager, who was saving their money by driving the van. He said, “You can come on the European tour if you agree to sell merch.” Well, now I’m living Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous movie plot at 61 years old!

This trip was extraordinary—we drove from London to the north of the UK, we were in Amsterdam, the countryside at a mud festival—the European equivalent of Burning Man, Belgium, and Paris. The only way I knew I could survive this trip traveling across Europe was: I Jewish mothered it. For these 27-year-old heavy metal band members on a trip they hoped would change their lives, I turned into their Jewish mother. I got them snacks, I charged their phones, I tried to be there if they needed someone to actively ignore, because basically they didn’t want to make eye contact with me. I think one of them learned my name. And then I was tasked with selling their merch, and when the sales started going slowly I told people I was the guitarist’s mother! I can’t even imagine what the band members would have thought if they knew I’d told the audience that their mother went on tour with them.

I don’t know that I would do it again (and by that I mean, I would definitely never do it again), but it was a fantastic experience. It sounded like the worst idea, but what it actually did was it made me feel useful. And as someone in treatment for cancer (at that point it had been a year and a half), being a cancer patient was a defining part of my identity, and in that one week I was able to let go of that. I sold $1400 of their merch and they gave me the gift of indifference. Band Mom wasn’t Cancer Mom, the affectionate nickname my son had given me. And, it also was an important reminder: try things that take you beyond your comfort zone. Every day I remind myself to remain curious—when we go through hard times, we can tend to shut down. This curiosity keeps me engaged and it’s in engagement with life that unexpected joys present themselves.

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Leah: I thought it would be fun to open up the questions to book lovers in our community. Aimee (@theonewhereaimeereads) would like to know: What is your favorite Jewish custom, holiday or tradition?

Annabelle: Being of service. This is something that disappeared when I was diagnosed—I was in such monumental grief, it was such a shock. When I started to approach two years in treatment, I wanted to return to the activities that make me feel the most alive. The trip with the band was key to my understanding of how important that was to me, and I’ve always felt very connected to welcoming the stranger. So I began volunteering with something called The Campfire Project (founded by my friend, Broadway star Jessica Hecht), which I write about in the book. We create therapeutic arts programming for young migrants seeking asylum in the United States. This is a secular program even though it has Jewish roots, and I never feel more alive, more energized, and more myself than when I’m doing this work with these young people…when I’m feeling a sense of purpose and usefulness.

I always say in my bio: I’m a writer and actress and activist and a Jewish mother. I feel that that’s very important, and I don’t know why I have to codify it as Jewish mother. But I think the idea of maternal feelings and those associated with Judaism…I think of the values that my grandmothers passed down l’dor v’dor that encompass my idea of welcoming the stranger and being a small light, as Miep Gies so beautifully modeled for us.

Leah: In addition to buying and reading your book, how can we support you?

Annabelle: I’ll be so happy if people buy my book and they tell people about it, especially for anyone who might seem to need some joy. And if anyone has someone in their lives who’s been diagnosed with cancer or who’s caring for someone with any kind of long-term challenge, I hope you’ll give this book as a gift.

But there’s something else: Israel is really fortunate to have a fantastic patient advocate, Dr. Shani Shilo, who is the CEO of the Israeli Lung Cancer Foundation. I am so proud to call Shani a friend and colleague—we do lung cancer advocacy together, and she has turned the Israeli Lung Cancer Foundation into such an important group to support. Anyone with lungs can get lung cancer (you don’t have to have been a smoker). If you go to their website they can tell you how to get screened, and I urge people to do so. Early screening is the key to a longer life and this organization is so fantastic and worthy of support.

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The End of My Life is Killing Me can be purchased here or anywhere books are sold.

Keep up with Annabelle on her website and Instagram, and view her book tour schedule here.

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© The Times of Israel (Blogs)