Like Ebenezer Scrooge, we are all visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past. At this time of year, people and events that have gone before feel closer at hand – both the personal and the historical.

One of the main ways we experience this is through our tradition of Christmas carols. A recent YouGov survey showed that 14 per cent of Britons usually attend a carol service. Not as high as one would hope, but attendance rates are rising: in 2023, Church of England Christmas services alone saw a 20 per cent leap in attendance. I sense 2025 is already continuing the trend. Yet many churches will be pointlessly squandering the opportunity by continuing a fad which both turns off newcomers and lets down regulars: modernised Christmas carols.

If you have never experienced this phenomenon, then God bless you, everyone. But I have. The modernisers have three targets in their sights: the senior, the sexist and the strange.

First, the senior – stuff that sounds old. Most obvious is the needless excision of the ‘ye’, ‘thee’, and ‘thou’, up to and including awkward renditions of ‘O Come All You Faithful’ and ‘God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen’ (and yes, that comma is in the right place – it’s the rest that is........

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