‘Please call me Mark,’ I’ve always said to the teachers at my son’s school. ‘If you call me “Mr Mason” it makes me feel 85 – and if I call you “Mrs Smith” it makes me feel seven.’ I know their first names, and always use them, in emails, phone calls and in person. A few return the compliment, but most keep it formal. It feels wrong, putting distance between us when we’re having a conversation, often an in-depth and important one, about my only child.

The best teachers and staff have taught me fascinating things about how to deal with Barney. I’ve only been a parent once; they’ve encountered thousands of kids. It was the same at his primary school, starting with Sonja, when I was a volunteer helping with the class’s reading. One girl always said ‘I don’t know’ whenever I asked her what a particular word or letter was. ‘Try saying “But if you did know, what would it be?”’ advised Sonja. The next week I did just that – and the girl got every answer right.

There have been some similarly fascinating insights from the staff at my........

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