When I heard that Robbie Williams had written a song called ‘Morrissey’, I didn’t know whether to be delighted or irate. It’s no secret that I idolise Moz, and the idea of a somewhat seedy showman attempting glory by association made my hackles rise somewhat. 

But on the other hand, Williams has co-written several songs which have caused my toes to tap over the years and has a history of acting gay when it suits him. (Indeed, Take That’s appeal might be crudely summed up as four lads who looked like rent boys and their concerned social worker, Gary Barlow.)

Then there was the ‘Shame’ video of 2010 by Robbie and Gary, in which the two principals start by exchanging copious meaningful glances in a shopping mall. Then we cut to a dancehall where the two men are each dancing with women, but still have eyes only for each other. Then they’re necking shots and fessing up: ‘So I got busy throwing everybody underneath the bus / And with your poster 30 foot high at the back of Toys R Us / I wrote a letter in my mind / But the words were so unkind / I must have meant them at the time / Is this the sound of sweet surrender?’ Then they’re stripping off and have their arms around each other! It was little surprise that the song came from an album called Swings Both Ways. 

But I’m always keen on a bit of boy-on-boy (or rather, sexy-uncle-on-sexy-uncle, considering their ages and appearance) action, so the idea that Robbie had written a song about the ultimate sexy........

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