Americans are increasingly exposed to health and wellness influencers, debates over additives, microplastics and forever chemicals, and politicized questions about the food, medication and vaccines we put into our bodies. On the left, some of these questions and debates are influencing environmental and consumer policies in places like California and Colorado. On the right, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and the “Make America Healthy Again” movement wield immense power to shape policy across the country.

Much of this attention is focused especially on parenting and childhood. So for Times Opinion’s latest focus group, we spoke with 14 mothers from across the country and across the political spectrum about parenting today, dealing with doctors and illness, vaccines, food, MAHA and Mr. Kennedy. For this conversation we cast a wider net than just Mr. Kennedy’s supporters, but specifically brought together people who said they had a particular worry about the food their families eat and an interest in doing some of their own research, not just deferring to doctors.

While six of the 14 participants said they would describe themselves as “MAHA moms,” the others did not. The overall group included pro-Trump voters, anti-Trump voters, people with concerns about vaccines and people who approved of the Trump administration’s focus on chemicals or food but felt it was going too far on vaccines or Tylenol.

What comes through in the conversation is how hard it can feel to be taken seriously by doctors and how hard it is to make choices — whether as a parent or as your own person — in the age of social media.

What’s the best part of being a mom?

Being alive with my kids.

The fulfillment.

Being someone’s safe place and being her best friend.

Never boring.

It’s a blessing.

It’s like watching your heart outside of your body.

An adventure.

Being able to be a kid again and have fun with them.

I love watching my children achieve things and grow and be proud of themselves.

Their sense of wonder.

Watching my girls be confident.

Watching her grow and rise to the challenge of all the preteen stuff.

Watching them grow into who they are becoming and seeing all their accomplishments.

I’d say it’s rewarding and joyful just to be able to see it all and experience it all.

What’s the hardest part of being a mom?

Not overparenting.

That I need to pay someone to watch her so I can make money.

You have to be able to adjust.

Watching them grow up, it’s bittersweet.

Worrying about their safety.

Balancing time.

Watching them struggle when you see things that you can fix, but they need to work it out themselves.

It’s kind of a duality. I don’t want to do a half-good job at being an employee, and I don’t want to do a half-good job at being a mom. But I’m the only one running the show here.

I spend more time researching health-related things. My daughter has some autoimmune neurological struggles, and I also have autoimmune struggles. I feel like I spend a lot of time researching supplements or different therapies or things that could help her to feel better.

What’s your top source for your research?

I have a couple of different bloggers that I follow to some degree, some influencer-type people on Instagram, although I’m a little picky about who I listen to there or really give my time to because I feel like a lot of them are very gimmicky or just trying to sell different things. I also rely on my daughter’s doctors. And so it’s kind of a plethora of different places.

I’m a stepmom and we’re co-parenting, so I always look at like, OK, how do I not step on toes? With health problems, I have some friends that are doctors, and I’ll ask them questions about best approaches.

And how do you know who to trust when you do research online?

I don’t particularly trust influencers online. I do subscribe to The New York Times, so if there is a health article or parenting articles, I feel pretty good about them and how they’re researched and things like that. I also go to my friends with children who are now adults and who’ve turned out well.

I get library books. If I like a certain author, their style, the recommendation, I’ll just get all their books.

We became a blended family four years ago. Before that, I got a lot of my family input on how to raise my girls from my faith, my church family. And then when we became a blended family, we had a lot of issues at the beginning. I found a blog that was really helpful in that the family was just like mine, and my pediatrician recommended other quality sites.

I follow different Instagram people or on TikTok who are parents. I definitely don’t take everything they say word for word, but I get different ideas for things to do on holidays or gifts, and also appreciate the reminders about perspective they share. The days are long but the years are short, for example.

How easy or hard is it to find information about being a mom to your family?

It’s too easy. I feel like everybody wants to tell you how to parent, whether that’s the internet or your family.

How is the internet telling you how to be a mom?

Seeking out the content is one thing. But if you just let content appear, there’s people who are telling you, oh, you’re doing it wrong. This shouldn’t be how it is. News articles tell you one thing. Others tell you the opposite. You're like, what’s reality?

Do you have a specific example?

Breastfeeding. From the beginning. It starts at the beginning. They’re like, you’re doing that wrong. You should be doing it this way. You should be bottle. You should be breast. You should not do formula. You should do formula. It doesn’t matter. From the second you have a kid, everybody has something to tell you.

I wholeheartedly agree that no matter where you are on any level, the algorithm is going to find a way to see if you agree or disagree with a new thought. I think there’s a lot of mom-shaming that goes on social media. For stay-at-home moms versus working moms, that’s always been a huge battle on social media that is not anybody’s choice but a personal one. I guess it just tugs on your heart on social media sometimes. When you feel like you’re doing something wrong, you start seeing things that it’s kind of like: Yeah, you should have done this a little bit better.

I definitely feel that way, though I do think my algorithm has changed and it’s gotten less overwhelming as my daughter’s gotten older, I guess. Still, it’s just a lot of unattainable high standards in every different aspect. Like, you should be baking your bread, and you should be doing your laundry this way, and your house should look a certain way. And for the most part, that’s unattainable or really difficult to get if it’s not your full-time job.

I do feel like I’ve found ways to feel validated through social media. It just takes weeks for the algorithm to realize: Oh, this is what you’ve decided to do. And then you start getting content about that. And then I feel validated that, oh, other........

© The New York Times