Former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg recently sparked a conversation about adoption with comments that described “a list for white kids” and “paying a deposit on a fetus.” While he offered some thoughtful reflections on parenting, these particular remarks — and the media response they generated — highlight a dangerous trend: the use of adoption as a proxy in broader cultural battles, often without context or accuracy.

As someone who has worked with hundreds of adoption agencies and professionals across the country for decades, I can confidently say that these terms misrepresent how private adoption works. More importantly, when media narratives confuse or conflate key facts, the real harm falls on children and families.

One of the most common forms of misinformation happens when conflating private domestic adoption with statistics from the U.S. foster care system. This conflation leads to false conclusions about racial disparities. Private domestic adoption, which typically involves the voluntary placement of infants by their birth-parents, is a fundamentally different system from foster care, where children are placed due to abuse, neglect, or other issues.

The motivations, processes, and challenges differ profoundly between the two.........

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