On 1 April, the TV comedian John Richardsons, who you will have seen on many panel shows, announced he was becoming a teacher, having already completed the training in secret. I was humbled by Richardsons’s decision to do something genuinely worthwhile and by his foolhardy bravery. How would he control a class of teenagers pre-armed with clips of him clowning around with Russell Brand on The Great Celebrity Bake Off?

But it turned out Richardsons’s story was merely an April fool prank. D’oh! The fact that the inspiring tale wasn’t true left me deeply saddened, like the time I wept when my mum finally told me Father Christmas hadn’t been eating the mince pies I’d made for him. I was 28 years old.

Of course a multimillionaire comedian wouldn’t quit comedy to become a teacher on a £31,650-a-year starting salary, you idiot! That would be ridiculous. Richardsons’s April fool was a publicity stunt to promote his casting as a teacher in the soap opera Waterloo Road, where actors are paid more than teachers to pretend to be teachers.

But perhaps Richardsons should change career. And perhaps, despite being “the world’s greatest living standup” (the Times), so should I. We should all do the right thing and comedians have crowd-management skills that transfer well to the classroom. “I remember when I had my first Prime energy drink, Jenkins! I’m here all week!! Try the fish!!!”

Teachers inspire kids and thus change the world for the better. But nobody ever went on to change the world after watching 8 Out of 10 Cats. And wouldn’t it have been great, for once, to see someone successful walk away from their wealth to help humanity? It shouldn’t always have to be Michael Sheen putting himself out, again and again and again, his beard all wet with Welsh rain.

Like most north London champagne socialists, I am increasingly disappointed, for example, by the endless wrong choices of Keir Starmer, who I voted for hoping he would........

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