It’s a big week in global politics, as the tension of a critical election crackles like electricity. The fight for the soul of a nation is at stake and has ramifications for the wider world as we absorb the only poll that truly matters – that of the 2026 New Zealand general election.

At times the campaign has risked overwhelming even the United States midterms, with office water coolers reaching boiling point from the political hot-take hydration breaks. That is, of course, if you find yourself inside the boundaries of the best-looking little country on Earth. A place where every three years, New Zealanders’ carefully curated “nice guy” persona is put to one side as the contest of mate against mate, state against … well, itself, takes place.

So concerned are New Zealanders with how this period of incivility presents to the wider world that it is rumoured to have been a deliberate tactic to put up two white guys, both named Chris, for Kiwis to choose from to be the country’s next prime minister.

Because Chris is the type of name that slips under the radar; a Chris is the member of your indoor netball team who no one remembers asking to join, but who always shows up. They might not be very good as goal shooter, but they aren’t going to be sent off for pushing over Jenny from........

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