Don’t listen to what Sahib says about equality. Watch what he does with power. Sahib has become very eloquent in the language of equality. He speaks about women’s empowerment at conferences. He talks about inclusion in the boardroom. He knows the vocabulary: gender, leadership, participation, dignity, safe spaces. Clap. Clap. Clap. Welcome to the era of male involvement in promoting women’s rights.

But perhaps we should listen less to what Sahib says when there is a microphone in front of him and watch more closely what he does when there isn’t one. Because power has a way of undressing language of its cosmetics. And sometimes the most revealing place to observe Sahib is not the boardroom. It is the bedroom.

This is not an argument that all men who speak about equality are hypocrites. There are men who practise equality when nobody is watching, who challenge other men, respect women’s autonomy and accept accountability even when it costs them something. I know three such men. I vouch that they are different. You may know some more. They are not the subject here. The subject is the distance between playing parity and surrendering supremacy.

On 31 August 2026, veteran Pakistani actor and writer Faryal Gohar appeared on Nida Yasir’s Good Morning Pakistan and spoke publicly about what she described as a nine-year abusive marriage. She alleged physical and psychological abuse, restrictions on her movement and being beaten with leather belts, which she said resulted in miscarriages. Her former husband, actor and filmmaker Jamal Shah, has strongly denied the allegations and disputed her account of the pregnancy loss.

I am not writing here to adjudicate between two people describing a private marriage differently. I am interested in something else: what happens when a woman speaks?

Disclosure changes the room. Suddenly, the private becomes public. The woman tells her story; the man responds; audiences........

© The Friday Times