The Texas Primaries Just Ended A Bunch of Jerry Springer Episodes
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The Texas Primaries Just Ended A Bunch of Jerry Springer Episodes
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The primary elections in Texas this week may bring us closer to the daily heartburn of a Sen. James Talarico, endlessly sermonizing on the biblical mandate for pediatric phalloplasty and trans abortions.
JAMES TALARICO: "Our trans community needs abortion care too." This is who Democrats just nominated as their senate candidate. pic.twitter.com/INHeOteRYs— Townhall.com (@townhallcom) March 4, 2026
JAMES TALARICO: "Our trans community needs abortion care too." This is who Democrats just nominated as their senate candidate. pic.twitter.com/INHeOteRYs
But the same election results will send some theater kids home for good, so the day is worth celebrating. In one unfortunate case, the result is only a maybe: A particularly repulsive Democrat performance artist, Rep. Al Green, has for years filed articles of impeachment against President Trump on something close to all days ending in y, and has developed a particular taste for middle school theatrics during the State of the Union address.
Green came in second in his primary this week, but his most successful challenger fell short of 50 percent, forcing a runoff. Still, a second-place finish for a longtime officeholder suggests that even Texas Democrats are getting tired of him.
Better news: Losing to Talarico’s fake preacher act, the Democrat Rep. Jasmine Crockett gave up her House seat for her Senate campaign. That means we’ll get much less of this in the next Congress:
Miraculous that no chairs were thrown during that hearing, or that Maury Povich didn’t show up with the results of a paternity test.
Crockett, by the way, is quite famous for some particularly shameless code-switching, becoming a different person from moment to moment, in a performance that won’t be missed at all.
Jasmine Crockett has more accents than cats have lives👇🏻🔊 pic.twitter.com/w1qJrwuEtr— Sheri Unfiltered™ (@FFT1776) December 25, 2025
Jasmine Crockett has more accents than cats have lives👇🏻🔊 pic.twitter.com/w1qJrwuEtr
On the Republican side, Rep. Dan Crenshaw has been interesting for a while, infamously snapping at a child who asked him a question about religious faith.
On a longish list of greatest hits, Crenshaw said on a hot mic that he would kill Tucker Carlson if he ever met him.
On a list of MAGA grievances, Crenshaw expressed little interest in the fate of Jan. 6 prisoners.
Crenshaw lost his primary this week by 15 points.
Crockett and Crenshaw leaving, Green in real trouble, Talarico advancing. A mixed bag, but the good news is real.
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