As a young widow of 38, I remember all too vividly dragging my body, heavy with grief, into Centrelink a couple of weeks after my partner Nathan had died.

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My teenage sweetheart and partner in life, he was taken from us suddenly and, far too young.

The shock and trauma from his death was overwhelming. I was at the very beginning of my grief journey, a long and hard road ahead, emotionally, physically and financially.

Nathan and I were in a fortunate position compared to many other people; both employed with a double income which covered the costs of a mortgage, childcare, fuel, food, and occasionally a little bit of fun. But instantly that was more than cut in half.

I was terrified for my and my children's future. I didn't know how I was going to keep the roof over our heads without Nathan.

Returning to work was not an option for me. Deep grief and shock had impacted my brain functioning so much that I wasn't able to work for some time. And for many people experiencing the death of a loved one, this is the reality.

Those who are forced to return to work with unrealistic timeframes after the death of a loved one, can find that grief manifests cognitively and productivity in the workplace is impacted. Poor concentration, anxiety, depression, physical and emotional fatigue and high stress levels can impact productivity, increase safety risks, increase sick leave absence, and create higher levels of burnout. This costs both workplaces and employees.

Currently, compassionate and bereavement leave for full time employees is two days for the death of an immediate family member, spouse, partner, child, parent, grandparent, grandchild or sibling.

And I can tell you from personal experience that you will need much more time than that.

Grief is also not solely attached to the death of a loved one, I believe it should cover any type of loss. Loss of a pet, finances, housing, loss of a relationship through divorce. The impact of grief on employees means there is a greater need for bereavement specific leave entitlements and support in the workplace.

As the founder of Grief Connect (bereavement services including a young and over-55s widowed support group), I've heard many horrific stories about people being forced to return to work, immediately following a bereavement, which significantly increases stress and grief and prolongs the process of finding a new normal.

Certainly, in my case, taking two days off and returning to work after Nathan died was unthinkable. No one in their right mind expected me to return to work at that point, but bills needed to be paid.

It is rare that a workplace provides flexibility to their employees to support them through a bereavement, but when flexibility is provided, the outcome for both parties is great. It extends well past productivity to employees feeling valued and retention rates increasing.

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Not allowing employees an appropriate amount of time to process their grief needs to be urgently addressed.

How can the government better support employers? Pay their employees to have the time off they need to grieve, especially those in small business.

Because being given one day to attend the funeral and one day to grieve is quite frankly ridiculous.

And it shouldn't land on small business owners or private owners; it should be a government-based support payment.

There should be options for full time employees to gradually return to work, where possible because employees in the thick of early grief, cannot work at their full capacity.

Tax incentives for compassionate employers should also exist, including government wage subsidies for business. As well as mandatory grief education for managers, employee assistance programs and flexible work arrangements. Grief contributes to employee burnout, sick leave usage and poor health outcomes which can impact the community at large.

Allowing employees flexibility with job protection and encouraging a phased return to work are solutions that allow employees time away from work to process their grief, attend to the long list of tasks and admin that unfortunately come with death, look after their families and prioritise their own health.

And while there is nothing surer for any of us in this life, I believe the toll of keeping bereavement leave limited to two days is contributing to a silent epidemic of grief all over Australia.

Michelle Moriarty is a grief expert and bereavement counsellor

Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; beyondblue 1300 224 636; 13 YARN (13 92 76)

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