"My understanding of empathy and kindness was shaped largely by three women: my mother, my sister, and the first house-help we had growing up, Mary Didi." Rae Khanna, 23, Video Producer at The Better India. 

This week, much of the internet has been discussing what has now come to be known as the "Rs 370 biryani" incident: a viral clip from comedian Pranit More's show where an audience member recounted spending Rs 370 on a meal during a date and feeling entitled to something in return.

Thousands of ordinary users pointed out that the remark seemed to reveal the idea that paying for a meal could somehow create an obligation, and that consent could be treated as a transaction. If this conversation is really about respect, consent, relationships and masculinity, what do men themselves think about these issues today?

Just ordinary men navigating work, friendships, dating, family expectations and adulthood in 2026. So we asked our male colleagues across The Better India a series of simple questions.

It was a collection of reflections on the kind of men they are trying to become.

"The bigger problem is when nobody finds it strange"

For Rae Khanna, the most troubling part of the viral incident was the reaction around it.

"My first reaction was disbelief," he says. "Not because one person thought this way, but because they felt comfortable saying it publicly while others cheered them on."

What concerns him, he explains, is how easily certain attitudes become normalised when nobody questions them.

"We often ask why women feel unsafe or unwelcome in certain spaces. Sometimes the answer isn't a single incident. It's the culture that allows those incidents to feel acceptable in the first place."

When asked what he considers a green flag in a person, his answer was kindness without an audience. "It's easy to be kind to people who can help you, agree with you, or matter to your ambitions. The real test is how someone treats people when there is no reward attached."

Many of those values, he says, came from watching the women around him.

"My understanding of empathy and kindness was shaped largely by three women: my mother, my sister, and the first house-help we had growing up, Mary Didi."

Among the ideas he has consciously unlearned is the belief that men........

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