Before I married my first husband, we broke up twice. Once at 18, a few months after meeting on the Surfers Paradise beach during HSC. I was bemused.

Second time, we were 23 and living in a St Kilda flat when he pulled the pin. I was strategic. Quit my job, moved to London, replied to his Air Mail letters when it suited. Came home six months later to a marriage proposal.

The final split at 46, I was inconsolable. But accepting. When our wise, supportive couples’ counsellor Sarah said after a lot of work, “this marriage is over”, I trusted her external confirmation of what was being thought inside the relationship.

There are always separations before a divorce, and there are rules to ensure unnecessary damage isn’t done.Credit:

So among the pieces of wisdom our kids have been subjected to – always say “very well, thank you” when asked how you are because nobody cares anyway, look under the rug at house inspections, beef mince is your friend – one is a mainstay: Most breakups take three cracks at it before you really break up (or stay together).

Research kind of backs up my theory, or at least that it ain’t over ’til it’s over. Globally, between 10 and 15 per cent of........

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