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A psychopath does not simply wake up one day as an adult and begin demonstrating psychopathic traits. Much research tracks the emergence of callous-unemotional behavior and traits in such children from early age.1 Their impact is often seen and felt in family and school settings. It is fair to expect that parents often suffer as their psychopathic children's victims, yet seldom do we think about the effect these children have on them.

Turmoil and confusion are likely to beset the parents. A child’s intentional callous, unemotional responses and actions may lead parents to seek professional counseling assistance for the child and cause recrimination and self-blame. If the child’s actions have triggered school authorities, social service agencies or law enforcement, a spiral of diagnostic evaluations and investigations may ensue.

Often, investigations include family and close friends. Wounds are opened, raw emotionality is likely and the parents may experience struggle, anguish, and even humiliation or shame. If a situation becomes high-profile, newspaper articles and media attention can mire the entire family in disgrace. Life can be shattered.

Parents Receive No Sympathy

John Edens, a clinical psychologist at Texas A & M University, has cautioned, “This isn’t like autism, where the child and parents will find support. Even if accurate, it’s a ruinous diagnosis. No one is sympathetic to the mother of a psychopath.”2

According to psychopathy researcher Dr. Robert D. Hare, “Most psychopaths begin to exhibit serious behavioral problems at an early age.”3 Although some psychopathic traits are observed in childhood, including the emotional impairment known as callous-unemotional traits, the psychopath label is not used to describe children.

Mark Dadds, a psychologist at the University of New South Wales, is uncomfortable with labeling young children a psychopath, but he admits, “The research showing that this temperament exists and can be identified in young children is quite strong.”4

Opinions may differ among those evaluating the child. Parents will question: “Whose fault is this? Did we do something wrong? Why is this happening?” Chaos and confusion are likely. Pioneering 20th-century psychopathy expert, Dr. Hervey Cleckley commented, “During all my years of experience with hundreds of psychopaths…no type of parent or of parental influence, overt or subtle, has been regularly demonstrable."5

He further noted that a very large percentage of his psychopathic patients came from backgrounds that appeared to be conducive to “happy development and excellent adjustment”.6 Cleckley’s observation is little solace to parents. The following two examples show the distress such children can inflict on them.

In his book, Without Conscience, Dr. Hare recounts the case of Helen and Steve’s fraternal twin daughters, Ariel and Alice.7 Ariel brought good news while Alice’s escapades brought bad news and worry. Helen and Steve noticed early on that there was something different about Alice—she was precocious in ways where little girls age three or four were innocent. Mixed feelings of what went wrong led to differences of opinion between Helen and Steve. A small kitten given to the girls was found strangled. Ariel seemed genuinely upset while Alice’s tears were forced.

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When intense battles ensued between the sisters, Ariel defended herself, while Alice aggressively pursued her sister, destroying her sister’s belongings. When Alice left home at seventeen, peace reigned until Helen and Steve were notified that Alice’s impulsive behavior led her to drugs, prostitution and theft. Bail and treatment programs cost $10,000. And that was just the beginning. Helen and Steve worried they had done something wrong in raising Alice. They knew many parents who carelessly raised their children, but they had grown up to be "normal." They blamed themselves endlessly. In the end, the joy of Ariel was pushed aside by the anxiety and worry for Alice.

The Impact of Michael's Behavior

A feature story in the New York Times Magazine detailed the case of "Michael" who was defiant and headstrong from age three.8 As he grew older, Michael’s aberrant behavior became rageful and turned violent, evincing callous-unemotional traits and cunning manipulation. At nine, Michael’s parents, Anne and Miguel, sent him to an eight-week diagnostic psychological program. The therapists told the parents that Michael exhibited psychopathic behavior and might be a psychopath. Anne and Miguel had two other sons who exhibited no such qualities. Anne said that raising Michael brought no happiness and joy. “It’s like being in the army, facing a barrage of fire every day. You have to steel yourself against the outbursts and the hate.”9 Personal recrimination and self-blame abounded.

These two cases can only begin to suggest the degree to which parents become victims of their psychopathic children. Some research has focused on whether parenting can impact psychopathy, but there is no research into the victimization of parents by psychopathic children. It is long overdue.

1. Frick, Paul J. & Marsee, Monica A. (2018). Psychopathy and Developmental Pathways to Antisocial Behavior in Youth. In C. J. Patrick (Ed.), Handbook of Psychopathy: Second Edition. (456-475). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.

2. Kahn, Jennifer. (2012, May 11). Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath? The New York Times Magazine. https://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/magazine/can-you-call-a-9-year-old-a-psychopath.html. 4.

3. Hare, Robert D. (1999). Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us. New York, NY: The Guilford Press. 66.

5. Cleckley, Hervey. (1988). The Mask of Sanity. 5th Edition. The mask of sanity by Hervey M. Cleckley | Open Library. 412.

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