The Challenges of Infidelity

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Partners have different ideas of what unfaithful behavior looks like.

Dark personalities view infidelity differently than other people.

Some people judge their own behavior more permissively than a partner's behavior.

“It was just coffee,” a partner might proclaim, when his or her significant other views the extramarital meetup as more about the company than the caffeine, suspecting the motivation behind the meeting. The same type of conversation might follow emotionally intimate text messages or emails, with the sender explaining “We were just talking.” So where is the line? As these examples illustrate, one of the most significant issues faced by romantic partners is agreeing on what type of behavior constitutes infidelity. The answer may depend on everything from personal commitment to personality. Research explains.

Infidelity, Personality, and Personal Perception

Gayle Brewer et al. (2023) examined the issue of perceptions of infidelity in a piece aptly entitled “But It Wasn’t Really Cheating.”[i] They acknowledge that some acts are easier to identify than others, noting that sexual intercourse is generally thought to constitute infidelity while opinions about sending affectionate texts or........

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